Dealing with PCOS

If you don't know what it is, PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Textbook definition:

PCOS is an endocrine disorder that affects approximately 5% of all women. It occurs amongst all races and nationalities, is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age, and is a leading cause of infertility. The principal features are weight problems, lack of regular ovulation and/or menstruation, and excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among women. While the causes are unknown, insulin resistance, diabetes, and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS.

Well, we all know I'm not diabetic or obese, so I'm one of those oddball occurances. Go figure. I don't usually like to talk about it, mostly because I have no one to talk to, but I have notice it helps to try. I try to keep it in to avoid raining on everyone's parade, but sometimes I just need to release how I'm feeling. I joined a message board on SoulCysters.com and it has helped me greatly. It's all women who can relate. We've all learned that even though there is a "texbook" definition, this condition varies greatly in every single woman who has it.

PCOS doesn't mean it will be impossible for Glenn and I to start a family, but it's more of a challenge for us than it is for other people because quite frankly, I don't ovulate on my own anymore. I have been seeking help with a medication and so far, the lowest dosage works on me, but it comes with a long list of side effects and lucky for me, I get to experience almost every single one of them. I've had a lot of blood work done as well. I try to be patient and remember that God has control and I need to just RELAX and let Him do His job... but see, I'm OCD (I admit it, okay?) and so it's very difficult for me sometimes to just "relax."

So why am I just now getting around to blogging this? I really don't know. The only people who have been aware of this are a few immediate family members, church ladies, and a couple other friends. Otherwise, I've been keeping this big secret locked up inside and struggling mostly alone. I know that talking about this more doesn't really help because no one I know can really relate. So no one can truly understand what this feels like. I'm normally an optimist, but this just plain sucks. I hope and pray that my doctor is right in saying that this can go way after we have our first baby. I really don't want to live the rest of my life with this. But I just wonder... how long will it take? How long until we get to really experience parenthood? How long do I have to sit back and watch every woman I know experience pregnancy? When should I file for adoption? These are questions that plague me all the time.

All I ask is that if you're reading this, you pray for Glenn and me. Pray for patience, for wisdom in my doctor's, for healing, for optimism, and of course, for the medication to work so we can just get pregnant and not have to keep taking these God aweful meds. I'm tired and it's only the second month. I'm only allowed to take them for up to 6 months and then we have to go through further/extensive testing, some of which I've been told can be very painful. Please pray that it doesn't get up to that point.

That's all.