Day 26...

This place is starting to get to me. I think I've done pretty well the past 3.5 weeks but now I'm not as strong as I once was. It all started last night when I laid down to go to sleep. Before I knew it, I was 10 tissue deep in tears. There is something about going to sleep alone in a hospital room when you've been so used to sleeping next to your husband and 2 cats for the last (almost) 3 years. As the days on the calendar go by, I feel like I'm getting weaker and weaker. I know this has to come to a close soon and it's only a small portion of my life, but it's getting increasingly difficult to stay strong and it's so easy for people on the outside to tell me these things. I think part of what has broken me is being tied down to this IV. I can't even take a shower when I want without someone helping me. I also have to be woken up in the middle of the night, every few hours, for vitals and for the monitor. I can't even sleep this place away peacefully anymore without being reminded every few hours that I'm not in the comfort of my home. I know my hormones are at an all-time high and that is a big part of the problem, too.

Yesterday Glenn and I toured the NICU and saw a baby in there, who was born at 33 weeks, and weighed just over 3 lbs. I know Zoey is already bigger than that baby was, but it still put things into perspective. However, it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Seeing the NICU gave me peace, not fear... I was seeing it from the outside, not as a mother with a baby in there. It helped me feel more comfort if Zoey does end up in there. Now I know, in advance, where she may end up going, and since I know what it looks like and the ambiance, I feel better about her going in. Yes, it's going to hurt to see my sweet baby girl in NICU if she has to go, but at least I'll feel more at ease than I otherwise could have felt.

Comfort wise... it's getting more difficult to be comfortable. Zoey is resting very low right now and I'm getting bigger by the day, which means the few stretch marks I do have are now very sore. Mostly they hurt because they are constantly strapped to the monitor. I've been trying to keep them moisturized but it's very hard when that monitor is always hooked up and that goo is always irritating them. My IV still hurts from time to time, my feet are swelling again from all the extra fluid, the magnesium sulfate is giving me headaches, my legs are very sore from laying in bed for hours and days and weeks...

There is one thing I do know. I love this baby and I am thankful I was even able to get pregnant so I can have a baby to call my own. For all I know, this will be my only pregnancy. I may never be able to have another baby. Having Zoey will be worth it in the end and this will be a distant memory. But for now, I'm going to cry from time to time because the end doesn't feel close. I'm allowed that much, right?

100 days to go...

There are only 100 days left in my first pregnancy. When people ask when the baby is due, I always say "the end of April, which means early May." However, the fact that my ticker says I only have 100 days left is putting me into nesting overdrive! 100 days left and so far this is where I stand:

Weight Gain: 27 lbs. This means I've outgrown nearly all the maternity clothes given to me and finally had to purchase some of my own in my 25th week. All the clothes given to me were previously worn by a mother who gained 33 lbs in her first pregnancy and 27 in her second... this is why I'm busting out of them so soon. Holy moly. Thank goodness another friend brought me some clothes today :) They should help get me through the next 3.5 months.

Stretch marks: I never thought about stretch marks taking over my inner thighs, but alas, there is a colony marching up and down my legs. This baffles me. I knew they crawled up the boobs and belly, but legs? I've always had a few on my legs from growing a little too fast as a kid... but now they are ALL OVER THE PLACE. It seemed to happen overnight. I'm not even going to try to do something about them right now. As for my belly, I do have a couple starting at the bottom. This is because I have become horribly lazy when it comes to applying my magic lotion. My fault. Oh well. What's a girl to do?

The Nursery: Zoey's room decor + bedding came in on January 12 and it's above and beyond what it looked like on the internet. It's brighter and just completely warms my heart. Today, the paint colors were picked out. We're going with a light yellow and a green accent wall. Operation Nursery will begin shortly... I'm hoping on the 23rd. I'm itching to actually open her furniture and get it set up. I'm ready to take all the gifts from my first shower out of the gift bags and put them in their places. I'm ready to walk into her nursery and feel extra anticipation for her arrival as I watch everything come together...

Pains: Zoey is consistently sitting on my sciatic nerve, and lately it feels like she's literally dancing on it. I feel like a foot is going to fall through my cervix any second now. She's obviously moved into a foot-down position. It's the weirdest feeling and I'm ready for her to correct herself. All her movement is downtown and I don't like how it feels. I wonder what she is thinking right now... is she more comfortable? Mommy sure isn't.

I can't believe I'm less than 3 weeks from my 3rd trimester and just 3.5 months from giving birth. It seems like just yesterday I saw those 2 pink lines in the bathroom at work. Tuesday, January 19, is the glucose tolerance test and another ultrasound to check on the placenta previa. With as much downtown action going on, surely the placenta has moved into it's proper place... only time will tell.

The next 100 days are going to include a lot of preparation and OCD-ness. I look forward to seeing what happens...

Zoey Elizabeth

Obviously I have a lot to share with you all. :) My 18 week ultrasound revealed that I have a healthy little girl growing in my uterus. It's hard to believe that between then and now she's grown to be from the size of a sweet potato to the size of a cantaloupe. Where does she even have room to grow?! I know that with her growth, I'm starting to feel her more more often. I noticed that the stronger movement is at the top of my belly and now I know why.

Placenta Previa. It sounds a lot scarier than it is, but basically, the placenta is at the bottom of my uterus, covering the cervix. You cannot deliver the placenta first. So either it has to move, or I'll end up having a c-section, which I don't want. Usually it moves, so I'll just get a few more ultrasounds to check for the movement. That is the good part. :) So anyway, the reason her movement isn't as strong at the bottom is because of the extra padding. I do feel her a lot more, but Glenn won't be able to for a while... hopefully that will change soon. I think he's itching to be more involved in the pregnancy and experience our baby girl.

My sciatic nerve pain has finally gotten easier! If it wasn't for that cuddle pillow, I'd be in some major trouble. I've just been extra careful lately, and I honestly don't have a choice because the belly is getting bigger and harder... which means it's more difficult to move around. Standing up is already a task... I worry and hope I don't end up gaining 70 lbs like my mom did with me... so far I'm at 21. My goal was to keep it below 40... I have a feeling I'll say goodbye to that goal soon.

Stretch marks? Not a single one. :) I hope I'm not speaking too soon... but I'm always on the lookout for the creepy crawlies, just waiting for one to show it's ugly face. I lotion up regularly and remind myself to stay hydrated and that I have good genes. Mom never had any, so maybe I won't either. :)

I'm ecstatic that we have a daughter on the way. I would have been just as ecstatic if it was a boy though. I'm more happy that I finally have something to plan for... up to now we haven't actually purchased a single thing for the baby. I'm approaching my first baby shower (December 19) and we're all registered at Babies R Us. We'll register at Target sometime soon... my next shower isn't until early March. We're very excited and as soon as the holidays are behind us, we're going to start on her nursery... I can't wait to show you guys what we have planned. She's going to have the coolest chick pad in Robertson County.

Say "HI!" to Zoey Elizabeth...

Just say "NO!" to stretch marks!

Some people are probably laughing out loud at the thought of me facing stretch marks like a war... with strategy and a battle plan... and thinking how can I possibly beat those evil little monsters when half the time there really isn't much you can do about them. Well, well... I know stretch marks are usually hereditary, starting so deep beneath the skin that you don't even know they are there yet... and that lotion can only help keep them lighter and less scary.

I have a plan. My mom didn't get stretch marks at all, and while she attributes it to a Mary Kay lotion she used, I think we just have good genes. ;) I am going to experiment with the most moisturizing lotion I've ever used in my life. Aveeno Intense Relief Repair Cream seriously keeps my skin feeling like I just put lotion on all day long... I'm talking for at least 14 hours without reapplying it. Lately I've been covering myself in it after my morning shower and when I go to bed at night, I still feel super soft.

I first picked up a tub of this lotion when Glenn was facing some patches of eczema on his arms. This lotion took away the itch. A friend from church was facing some pretty bad eczema on her hands and it was causing a lot of pain and burning. She tried this lotion and immediately felt better. A tub of this stuff at Walmart is about $12, and it's worth every penny. A little bit goes a long way. So if you're a new preggo woman looking for a way to cast war on stretch marks, I recommend you try this stuff out. Hopefully in my 3rd trimester I'll have some proof that all is well and stretch mark free!

Intense Relief Repair CreaThis rich body cream provides intense moisturization to soothe irritated, dry skin on contact and provide significant relief in just one day. The breakthrough formula contains pure oat essence, ceramides and essential lipids found deep within the surface of the skin that play a key role in restoring the skin's protective function. Used daily, this cream can actually help repair dry, irritated skin in as little as two weeks for skin that