Wallah! It's a Wallace blog...

Moved!

2011-08-18T13:08:00.002-05:00

The new blog is still in the works, but I will no longer post on Blogspot, so if you're interested in following, you can bookmark your browser here: http://jessiwallace.wordpress.com/ and sign up for email notifications.

Looking forward to a fresh, clean start!

Here's hoping I have enough interesting content... ;)

Moving.

2011-08-12T07:34:00.003-05:00

The blog. Or, thinking about it rather. When I first set this blog up a few years ago, I set it up through my Yahoo! email address.... well, now I have a Google account and blogger doesn't allow you to move it to the new email address. I can add the email and such but I can't change my log-in or link it to my Google account.

Mess. =P

So I am thinking about moving it and just linking back to this one as an archive.

I'll let you all know when that happens. Or heck, I might move over to another blog provider... you never know. But you will know... when I tell you. :)

Anyone still reading?! How are you?!

A little behind.

2011-07-12T19:55:00.004-05:00

I'm a little behind on blogging. Okay, a lot behind. I do love doing it and I miss it a lot... but life has kept me incredibly busy. A quick recap:

1. I love my new job. I'm 9 months in and it feels so right. The people are great, the work load is great, I love it.

2. Zoey is 15.5 months old, saying cute little things like "what's this?" and "thank you".

3. My husband is officially ordained as an Elder in the church and I am so proud of him.

4. Hubby's job ends July 29. He works in Atlanta for the month of August (home on the weekends) and will be officially unemployed on September 1.

5. My kitty Yumi is outside for good after deciding to pee on one of Zoey's hats. Yeah. She walked into the bathroom, looked in her litter box, turned around, walked right into Zoey's room and peed on a hat. I watched the whole thing.

6. Falkor is probably going to a goat farm a friend of ours is setting up. He deserves a place to run and needs a job. And since I can't have a goat, we're placing him with someone we know will take excellent care of him and that we can visit any time we want. Not sure when this begins... soon.

7. I've been crafting more... I have officially completed Zoey's first year scrapbook (which is bulging at the seams by the way) and I made her a tutu for July 4 festivities. I <3 Pinterest, by the way.

8. I'm 7 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant with Zoey and have 8 more to go until I reach my goal.

9. Zoey is in her "I'm going to throw myself on the floor, kick my feet, scream and hit you if you don't carry me around and give me what I want" phase. It's adorable. (note the sarcasm) Terrible Two is a lie is I ever heard one. It starts at 12 months.

10. I want to deliver our next baby naturally.

#10 isn't a joke and it isn't an announcement. It's just a thought. I've read some AMAZING and inspiring birth stories lately... and while I can't really TTC any time soon, I truly pray that next time is different... that next time, the placenta acts right... that next time, the baby doesn't start trying to come out at 32 weeks. I can't guarantee anything. All I can do is pray.

Now I leave you with cuteness:

A Zoey Update... what else is new?

2011-04-22T15:10:00.003-05:00

I just realized I never posted the video recap I made of Zoey's journey to her first birthday. Shame on me, I know. For those interested, here it is:

http://youtu.be/JIDvVg0u86Q

In other news, Zoey is walking a little more every day. For some reason she walks at her babysitter's house more than she will at home. I think by the time she's here, she has missed us so much and she just wants to play and be held. It's cute, but a little annoying at the same time. We kind of need Zoey to walk so she can finally start school. You're probably thinking, "School? What the heck?!" We got her into Bethel Baptist Preschool, which is a curriculum-based daycare. The only catch is she has to be walking because their only opening is Toddler I. The deposit is paid and she's in... when she walks. She'll be in a classroom, they provide all her meals and have a little playground just for her age group. We'll miss her sitter, but it will be good for Zoey to get more socialized with several children. It doesn't cost a whole lot more than what we pay now and regardless I think the fact that food is included will make up for the difference.

Zoey is starting to babble more and actually say words... and try to converse with us... and it completely takes us off guard. She'll talk to us as if we should understand exactly what she is saying, and when we repeat her in question form to see if that is what she said, she always says "Yeah!" ;) Too. Stinking. Cute.

I can't believe we're in her 2nd year. Even more so, I can't believe that this time next year I'll be starting to potty train her... yikes.

One thing at a time, momma. One thing at a time.

Reflections of ONE

2011-03-29T20:54:00.006-05:00

My sweet little Peach is officially ONE. What a wild ride it has been. She's growing so fast, I can hardly catch my breath sometimes. She's very close to walking. Her first birthday party was sweet but overwhelming. There were so many people in our house, Zoey was a little freaked out. In the end, she had a great time and got some really cute clothes for the spring!

To see more adorable pictures of Zoey from her One Year photo session, and for pictures of other adorable babies, visit Jennifer Adams Reflections' NEW website! It's so stinking cute, your heart just might explode. ;)

Tubes!

2011-03-04T12:06:00.002-06:00

It has been a wild ride for Zoey since before Christmas... today, she got tubes in her ears! Poor baby has been on five rounds of antibiotics, one of which was a series of shots that she haaaaated... none of them worked. When it got around to the 5th round, her pediatrician said she will have to get tubes because... well... there was NO antibiotic left... she's had them all.

Nice.

Good news is surgery was a breeze! They had to use a larger hose to suction her ears because she had so much thick gunk behind her ear drum... it wasn't just fluid. It was a very quick procedure and she recovered well. So well, in fact, she took a SIPPY CUP from the hospital with REAL MILK in it... like a champ. Not formula... MILK. Girlfriend has been throwing tantrums at home when we offer her a cup over a bottle and we have every cup on the market... except this one. Not sure why this cup was more interesting... maybe she was desperate for a drink... but she took it and it's a toddler hard-top cup. I don't understand it and don't even care... she's off the bottle as of today! :) I'm so relieved to not have to wash the 459849608596 parts to her Dr Brown's bottles anymore...

Looks like our ear troubles are finally over!!

One Year Ago...

2011-02-17T20:02:00.003-06:00

One year ago today, I was 30 weeks pregnant and I went to my weekly OB appt for a placenta check. I had a rare form of vasa previa where my placenta had split in two and each section was connected by a blood vessel covering the cervix. This means if my water broke or I went into labor, I could bleed out and lose the baby and possibly my own life as well.

During this scary time in my pregnancy, I was getting weekly ultrasounds to check the placenta's activity and to see if I was dilating/effacing at all. By this point, I had been already. That day, I never went home. I went into an ambulance and to a hospital equipped to handle my situation.

If any of you are looking for some dramatic reading, check out the old posts from the vasa previa days, starting with the day I was Admitted. Then, there is a filter by Dealing With The Hospital, that's some fun reading right there. Start at the bottom... work your way up. If you feel so inclined. :) Today, I'm taking a trip down memory lane and looking back on those days... I still can't believe that was my life, but at the same time it feels like yesterday...

I have nothing to talk about...

2011-01-22T16:07:00.002-06:00

So I'm going to post pictures instead...

Why now?

2011-01-07T21:21:00.002-06:00

I'm going to be blunt here.

I've started ovulating on my own since coming off birth control. Want to talk about mixed feelings? I've got 'em. Now isn't the time to get pregnant again, and I want to cry because my body is now working like a woman's body should and I actually can't even TTC. I just don't get it. Why now? Why am I ovulating now? I've had 2 successfully healthy cycles since coming off the pills... 2 months in a row with 27 day cycles and I know for a fact I ovulated both times. But why?

Could it be that my body is finally starting to realize it's female and is supposed to do this? Could it be a mean trick? After all, last time I came off the pills, I was normal for 6 months before I found out I had PCOS... I just don't know how to think or feel.

In my heart, I feel like I am wasting a good opportunity. In my mind, I know I can't have another baby right now. My husband's job ends on July 29 and while he's getting great severance, I'd rather only have to worry about one kid right now. I'm terrified of pre-term labor again and being stuck in a hospital again with a kid at home. While the vasa previa was a freak thing that shouldn't happen again, it still feels like yesterday...

On February 17, it will be one year since I got admitted to Centennial and put on bedrest for the longest 5.5 weeks of my life.

It's still too soon for another baby... so why do I long for one? This hurts. I wish I could just give my ovulation to a fellow cyster... I can think of so many who wish they were ovulating like I am right now. It breaks my heart...

Protected + Catching Up w/ Photos!

2010-12-25T21:32:00.004-06:00

This blog is now only viewable by those who have been invited. :) Take that sickos!

I figure I'll just post photos from the last month to bring everyone up to speed on my daughter. There is also a YouTube video at the end, so you're in for a treat! Enjoy! I'll blog more often now that I know I can literally choose who gets to and who doesn't get to read this blog. :)

In a nutshell, she has 4 teeth, she pulls herself up and she's working on saying "bye-bye". She's 9 months old now!

If you'd like to continue to read this blog...

2010-12-08T20:26:00.004-06:00

...you need to tell me by commenting on this post with your email address. I've recently had some low-life scum bags subscribing to this blog with attempts to post pornography links and I'm completely disgusted. I'm going to make this blog private and only available to those I choose. So, if you'd like to continue reading, you'll have to comment with the email address your blogger account is under so I can invite you to read.

Thanks.

Added 12/9: I'm only keeping this sign-up option open until Christmas.

And keep in mind, if you're "anonymous" and just give me your email address, I'm NOT adding you... show your face, let me know who you are and then I'll add you... I'm not risking this garbage happening again. I realize I have readers I don't personally know in real life and that is fabulous! But if your intent is malicious, know now that I will not tolerate it and will not allow you to continue further.

To protect the innocent readers, when you comment on here, your email will not post for everyone to see... your comment will come to my inbox only and I'll send the email invites after Christmas.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

2010-11-28T20:58:00.005-06:00

Our little Peach has her first Christmas coming up and I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. :) So far she has a musical table, "Peas and Thank You" (a Veggie Tales book), and a little turtle shape-sorter wrapped under the tree. I still plan on getting her a set of rubber blocks for her to practice her stacking skills... and something penguin because the child has fallen in love with penguins. I was thinking of a pillow pet even though she's not supposed to sleep with a pillow yet... maybe I'll save that for her first birthday.

On her first Thanksgiving, she got to savor her first lollipop. And when I say savor...

I...

...mean......savor!!

For those of you wondering, no she didn't become a crazy baby and yes she napped afterward. :) Our little Peach is now 8 months old... she's very close to crawling, but that doesn't stop her from being completely mobile. She has decided that she can get places a lot faster if she just rolls across the floor, so that's what she does. She can "crawl" with her legs, but hasn't figured out how to lift up her hand and coordinate movement. Instead, she sticks her butt way up in the air, feet on her tippy toes, hands flat, and then just gives up and rolls across the room to her destination. :) I love it.

She is a happy baby... an adventurous eater, curious of the world around her, loves to laugh and smile at everyone... she's the greatest gift this Christmas season. I know this is a mom cliche, but I don't care: I have the greatest daughter in the world.

From Soul Cysters to Cyster World

2010-11-26T14:39:00.003-06:00

If you're a cyster like me and left SC because the site went completely down hill, we have a new place to connect and get answers to our questions. Groups I was in on SC eventually moved to Facebook and we prefer the forum setting, so we moved on over to CysterWorld.com, which was founded by a fellow SC-er.

Come on over!

Zoey's First Halloween (a photo update)

2010-11-13T13:47:00.004-06:00

Shmorgishborg!!!

2010-10-29T23:45:00.008-05:00

It has been a long time since I've blogged. I'm actually going to wait until the end to title it... I also just looked over all my labeled and selected all the ones I should topic this blog around because it seriously has been so long since I've produced any meat and potatoes for you all. So, here we go...

Zoey was the size of a 9 month old at her 6 month appointment... we were told she's so tall, she's off the percentile chart (which was meant for full-term babies, by the way)... so we're always like, "What preemie? Was that a dream?" Hmmm...

She has two teeth now. They came in during the same week, just a couple days apart, when she was 6.5 months old. She also started sitting up on her own around the same time. Teething has been... fun. Not really. Especially since her teething tablets were recalled. Losers. Get it right the first time, people... instead, we've had to resort to Infant Advil (which takes 20 minutes to kick in, which equals forever to an infant) paired with Orajel (she hates it). Some days are downright horrid and I feel awful for her... but lately, it's gotten a tad better. She's a wonderful baby, starting to get mobile in her 7th month, which terrifies me... is my home baby-proofed enough? What is she going to get into now?! And why is she so grabby?! She and I need to have a talk about what belongs to her and what doesn't... something tells me it won't go so well.
My new job... it rocks. I don't know what else to say about it yet except that I. LOVE. IT. I love the people, the work we do, the additional education they offer us for free (InDesign training!)... everything about it is everything I needed to move toward a happier life. We're not made to feel guilty for taking a lunch (yeah, I said it... stupid, eh?)... we're encouraged to play as hard as we work and to love our environment. All this love makes me happy :)

The holidays... oh, the holidays. Zoey is going to be a peach for Halloween. Well, kind of... I dropped the ball on getting her costume made because of everything with the job transition and vacation... so I got a little creative and made her costume. I found a fabulous tutorial online and made her a tutu myself... took about an hour total. I bought a long-sleeve onesie and dressed it up a bit with a couple buttons and ribbon. She already had a peach hat to wear. I also got her some peachy tights, but I'm thinking (thank you cold weather) she's going to end up in velvety brown pants instead, which is just fine, right?! Peaches have brown on them... they're fuzzy... see, it all works out. :) Of course I will post pics after. I'm too proud of my crafting not to.
Zoey is loving oatmeal now... we buy her the kind with fruit mixed in. Oatmeal and apples make her veeeery happy. She also loves yogurt. I think one thing I look forward to the most is Thanksgiving... she's going to get to try real sweet potatoes for the first time. :) I may even puree some turkey and gravy... we'll see. ;)

I am so stinking excited about Christmas, too! I've started looking on Etsy for her first ornaments and I found a birdie one I probably have to have because she has birdies everywhere... but I was also inspired to make them myself. Kristin and I are plotting a decoupage session in the near future...

I love crafting. I finally bought a glue gun today (I know, what the heck took so long?!) and I want to glue everything... this could get dangerous. My cats better not get in the way because I'm half tempted to glue ribbon and embellishments on their fur... but I digress.

Infertility.

2010-10-12T20:45:00.003-05:00

Lately, I've been thinking about people I know who are carrying a heavy heart due to infertility or pregnancy loss. I often look at my baby girl and thank God, through many tears, that I have her... even though it was a hard fight just to conceive and eventually deliver... I'd do it all over again. People have asked me, and I've wondered as well, if I will face the same battle when we decide to TTC again. I really don't have an answer, although I do find it highly likely based on my body's behavior since having Zoey. Instead of focusing on the hard road I traveled to get where I am today, I'm going to focus on the blessing. I wish I could wave my hand and change infertility. I wish those who would be great mothers would have happy ovaries and a joyful uterus... I wish those who abandon, abuse and neglect their children would be the ones stricken with infertility. Unfortunately, it isn't up to me. But I can promise you all one thing... if you're suffering with infertility, I am praying for you. Whether or not you believe in prayer, I am praying for you and will keep praying for you. Although we do not understand God's plan sometimes, we have to trust that He is bigger than everything we are and has a reason for every trial we face in our walk of life.

The fire is refining you to gold. Please let me know how I can specifically pray for you...

Starting a new chapter in life

2010-09-29T13:03:00.003-05:00

I typically shy away from talking about my work life on here just because I never know who is really reading... however...

I'm starting a new chapter in my life and I have so many mixed emotions. I'm leaving behind a job I've loved for a new challenge. This new job is going to greatly benefit my family and I couldn't be happier! However, I'm leaving behind one of my best friends that I've had the pleasure of working with for 4 years now. I've cried a lot over the past 24 hours... tears of joy, tears of nervousness, tears of loss. Who knew leaving a job would be this hard?

I'm moving on to a Marketing Coordinator position with a company that I think I will be able to grow with for the next several years... heck, possibly forever. It's an amazing company and I am thrilled to embark on this new adventure. It's going to be challenging but soooo exciting. It's exactly what I was looking for and more!

I start October 11, 2010. I have a lot to wrap up at my current work place, and it will be a pleasure as I pass the torch on to someone else. I'm leaving on a good note... there have been some very hard times, but I'm focusing on the good ones and the memories+friends I've made.

Four years have gone by. I've learned a lot. Now it's time to move on.

I [heart] MOD PODGE

2010-09-11T20:47:00.000-05:00

I've always been... how can I put this... an appreciator of hand made crafts. The furthest I've gotten myself is the scrapbooking I've been doing since I was 14. I've come quite a long way since then. Purchasing the Cricut Expression last Christmas was the greatest thing to ever happen to my scrapbook world.

I've always appreciated crafts, purchased them off Etsy when I can, and recommended them to others. Now, I have entered the world of decoupage myself... and let me just say, everything changes from here on out.

Kristin [mostly maple], one of my best friends, has always been a decoupaging fanatic and of course, I always appreciated her work. It wasn't until recently that I got involved and now I'm ADDICTED. The very first thing I decoupaged was a "love box" for Colton & Zara's wedding shower. It was a lot of fun and very exciting as I figured out just how to do my first project. Luckily, it turned out adorable! I took an old shoe box, some scrapbook paper, and decoupaged all day long! [I made the little cards, too! Thank you, Cricut!]
Last weekend, Kristin and I started on toy bins for our daughters, who happen to be nearly 3 weeks apart. Today, I finished said toy bin, and I am so proud of it. We took some inexpensive wood bins, some adorable fabric aaaaaand.... MOD PODGE!!!Last night, in sheer boredom and needing a "fix" [haha!] I was looking around my house for things to decoupage. Suddenly, I caught glimpse of a set of very basic wooden coasters. Jackpot!In my collection of scrapbook paper, I had some all-natural fiber paper that I knew would be absolutely perfect on the coasters... so I pulled it out, grabbed a spongy brush, and went to town...
Now my boring old coasters have a little pizazz and match my living room quite well. I am pleased. :)

Expect more crafts in the future! I plan on doing Christmas ornaments soon. I'm also itching to try mosaics. Kristin and I have our eyes on an inexpensive toddler-size table & chair set at Joann that we'd like to tackle as our kiddos get older. I'm thinking it would be a great first birthday present for our girls. :)

Goodbye Gluten.

2010-09-05T21:49:00.002-05:00

I've discovered something about myself since starting my Blood Type O Diet. I'm sensitive to gluten. I cut it out of my diet because it was listed as the #1 harmful thing I could consume. I thought it was be more difficult to give up being that I (used to) LOVE whole grains. It has become easier than I thought... not only do I feel SO MUCH BETTER being gluten-free, but I've noticed that when I do consume large amounts of gluten, my stomach haaaaaates me. I always thought I just suffered IBS or something... but I think I now understand why I had such an issue before.

Gluten is the devil.

Well, not literally... but for my diet, it definitely is. If I have any now, it's in small quantities... although sometimes even small amounts upset my poor tummy. I've been doing so well on this diet... eating a lot of veggies and fruits... consuming as many of my super foods as I can and as little of my evil minions. I feel great... lighter, healthier, happier. Besides my uterus taking it's madness out on me, things are looking up. (I'll save the uterus talk for another blog... let me just say that after Necon giving me 1 good month, it has stabbed me in the back and is showing it's true colors.)

I'm so good during the week. When I cheat, it's usually on Saturday and I try to enjoy myself. This past Saturday included a very delicious sub at Subway... my first contact with bread of any kind in 3 weeks. It was tasty, however my stomach hurt afterward, but I just ignored it. It wasn't until dinner time when I ate another tiny bit of bread that my stomach reeeeally got upset. Thank you, Kristin, for giving me your super-marshmallow-expanding-antacids. They were a lifesaver!

Zoey's 5 month session with Jennifer Adams

2010-08-31T13:02:00.004-05:00

The same talented photographer who did the "Overcoming PCOS" session when I was pregnant came to do a 5 month "Peach" session with Zoey. How lovely my little peach is in all these photos! I am in love all over again. To see more of Jennifer's work, visit her site: Jennifer Adams Reflections.

Week 1: Success!!

2010-08-23T11:07:00.002-05:00

The hardest part is over... I actually started the diet, for real this time. I've started the blood type diet and lost 4 lbs my first week! The first couple of days were hard and I felt hungry... but then my body adapted and now I feel full on much less food. Less and healthier food! So here I am, 4 lbs down and 16 to go... now that the hard part of starting the diet is over, I hope the next 10 weeks are just as successful. I don't expect to lose 4 lbs a week... I always lose the most the first 2 weeks (probably all water), but I do expect to continue to lose 2 lbs a week to achieve my ideal weight by Halloween.

By the way, I only worked out one night last week and still lost 4 lbs. :) I did 30 minutes of aerobics on the Wii Fit and it was a lot of fun and beneficial. I need to try to cram 2-3 workouts into my week to keep things going... I'll feel so discouraged if I plateau and I can't have that.

I've been spending more time in the healthy+organic section at Kroger lately... there are a lot of gluten-free options available... the test is if they actually taste good... so far, I've been lucky. We'll see how lunch goes today with the cookies and crackers I bought.....

Until next time...

I'm serious this time!

2010-08-17T14:44:00.002-05:00

Okay. This time I'm serious about this whole weight loss thing and I have a PLAN!

A good friend let me borrow this book:

...and wow! It's very interesting. it explains a lot about how our blood type affects how our body functions in every way... the foods we eat can affect our weight (duh), hormones, thyroid, metabolism, everything! PCOS ladies, this is where we come in...

I'm kind of hoping that this new diet will not only help me lose 20 more pounds, but also help get my hormones under control. I have O blood and so my body demands a high protein, low carb diet... basically Atkins, although I'm not going to follow Atkins guidelines. I am going to use this book as my guide and watch my calories, sugar, etc... there is a list of super foods that help my blood type lose weight, and then evil minions that cause weight gain. This means some good and bad things...

Good! I can eat lots of meat, which I LOVE! This diet is very friendly towards seafood (sushi!!!) and many delicious vegetables. Artichokes are one of my super foods and I love the excuse to eat artichokes until my face falls off.

Bad! I have to cut out whole wheat products and glutens. Whaaaaaaaat?! Mind you, I am the person that always bought the bread at the store with the MOST amount of grains broadcasted on the label... I love grainy bread! Unfortunately it isn't my BFF. I'm cutting back. O blood also doesn't care for dairy, which I knew, but I do love cheese... and sadly, my favorite cheeses are now in exile. :( Coffee... well, we won't go there. I nearly have a seizure just smelling the coffee aisle at the grocery store..............

There is a LOT that goes with this diet... basically, I am going to cut a lot out but I'm not going to go crazy insane. I will enjoy some dairy... but the #1 evil minion on my list is the whole wheat, so it's outta here! This is my 2nd day and so far I'm feeling okay. This is taking a lot of will power. The main thing is O blood people need a very sweaty workout (haha) and well... I need to find some time for that.

So here I go... new goal: lose 20 lb by Halloween... if I can do that, I'll enjoy some candy corn, my Halloween favorite. :)

Angry Ovaries

2010-08-05T10:55:00.003-05:00

I guess it's no surprise that PCOS just doesn't end, even after a baby. I didn't get my hopes up with thinking things would be easier post baby... I know there would be somewhat of an obstacle, I just didn't know how far it would go.

I've determined my ovaries don't like me very much and if they could talk, they would have some 4-letter words for me. Sure, you laugh now, but they are mean little boogers!! After I had Zoey, I made sure I pumped as much milk as I could to freeze because I knew sooner or later I would need to start birth control pills to "tame the beast" and it would put a dent in my milk production. When Zoey was 7 weeks old, I started Loestrin24. I had read about the low hormones, how it shortens "george", etc. I decided to give it a try. I was still able to pump until she was about 12 weeks old or so... then it just dried up. I was sad, but knew if I didn't start treatment, my ovaries would get out of control. Unfortunately, Loestrin24 is the worst decision I could have made.

Not only did my ovaries rebel against me painfully, I bled almost non-stop until July 25. I'd go a max of 4 days without bleeding, then it would hit me as if it was day 1 all over again... heavy bleeding, angry uterus cramping... I was miserable. I finally decided to seek a change... my wonderful OB gave me the option to try a pill with more estrogen or discuss an IUD. I decided to try the pill instead...

Good choice. :) We switched to something I had never heard of before, called Necon. So far so good. I haven't bled, and while I still get a few random sharp pains, my ovaries are overall happier. I don't know what the heck is going on in there... I don't know if I ovulate now or what, but it hurts and there's no reason to live that way. I'm hoping the Necon continues to stay on my good list... I haven't completed a month on it yet, so I don't know how "george" will be... that will be a big deciding factor.

I've done YAZ before and apparently, it's the most recommended for PCOS, but I can't do it. It made my periods heavier and longer, dragging on for as many as 10 days. So not cool. I guess we'll see what happens... I'll report back after I experience my first "george" and see if the Necon really is a new BFF.

Giggles.

2010-08-03T09:47:00.001-05:00

Zoey is starting to Giggle now... she's had a squealing laugh for about a month now, but last night we captured an adorable moment I just had to share. Note that the video quality is very poor since this was recorded on my BlackBerry, but it's what you can hear that will melt your heart.

Zoey's 4 month appointment

2010-07-28T15:21:00.003-05:00

14lb 5oz
26" long

97th percentile for height
75th percentile for weight (because she's so tall)

How in the world did she get so stinking tall?!
She sure didn't get it from me. I'm 5'1"....

Solids & Oozy Poop Explosions...

2010-07-26T10:02:00.004-05:00

Zoey is now experiencing new foods. She's 4 months old and very ready. When she was 3.5 months I gave her a taste of cereal for the first time and she did really well with it. We also did bananas mixed with breast milk. Last week, she tasted a bit of smashed avocado and after making a hilarious face, she tried to suck my finger off my hand. That's my girl. :)

This weekend we spoiled her and gave her pear baby food in her cereal and she definitely liked it a lot more... but then we gave her straight pears. Big mistake because now she doesn't want cereal, she only wants the fruit. Oh well, I suppose that isn't a bad thing... they don't have to have cereal right? I'm guessing it's the first solid they're started on because it's mild...

This morning was the first "solid food" explosion. Zoey had the biggest oozy/drippy poop I've ever seen. It was dripping out of her onesie and was all over my arm. What did I do? Laugh hysterically. It was quite funny and it didn't really smell very bad... it was just oozy and gross looking. We pulled the onesie down instead of over her head to avoid it going in her hair. I just threw the onesie away. I couldn't bring myself to clean it. Zoey just smiled the whole time.

Looks like we're in a whole new world of feeding! She's getting a little bit of solids every night between her last 2 feeds as a snack until she's a pro at eating and we can replace a bottle with baby food. Four month check-up tomorrow!

3 years of wedded bliss

2010-07-21T10:23:00.004-05:00

Today we've been married for 3 years. We now own a house, have a (nearly) 4 month old baby, two cats, two dogs, and a lot of love to this day. We've been together 8 years now and it has been a wonderful 8 years filled with so many experiences and lessons. We've learned a lot of patience and trusting. I'm so happy with where we are right now... I wouldn't change a thing.

Here is a photo recap of that amazing day I will never forget... July 21, 2007 @ Riverwood Mansion in Nashville, TN.

So... about that weight loss thing...

2010-07-08T16:45:00.003-05:00

Yeah. It stopped. I've lost 32lb since having Zoey and now it's just kind of stopped. It's time I start more aggressive measures... but part of the problem I have right now is sitting.

Yes, sitting.

I bought Tone-Ups so my walking would be more aggressive. I had every intention of spending more time at the park. I still have this intention, but I cannot do it when it's over 100 degrees outside every single day and humid as a sauna... I cannot take Zoey out in that mess. You practically sunburn just from looking out the window. It has gotten pretty bad... that has hindered me a lot. Plus, I work at a desk all stinking day... I try to get up and move around, but sometimes I get so busy I hardly remember to pee... I'm not even kidding. I'll go 8 hours without peeing during the day. I just forget. I don't know why. Boo to working.

I feel awful right now. I need to lose 20lbs. None of my clothes fit right... so I don't feel attractive at all. I tried getting a haircut to boost my self-esteem but it's just not enough. I need to lose this weight. I hardly fit in my maternity pants OR my pre-pregnancy pants... there just isn't a place for me in my closet anymore. :(

I've decided I'm going to try going back to what I know works for me, but it takes finding the time to do it. I need to get going on the WiiFit again... but who has time? By the time I make it home from work, I cook dinner and take care of Zoey. Then I go to bed. I have to find time!!!

The only thing I have time for is Slimfast.

I did a Slimfast diet for our wedding and it helped me lose 17lb. I'd do a shake for breakfast... a 100 calorie snack of some sort around 10 a.m.... another shake and something small like a 1/2 sandwich or lean cuisine for lunch... another 100 calorie snack in the afternoon... then enjoy more calories for dinner since I LOVE to cook... but I'd eat on a smaller plate... then I'd have a 100 calorie ice cream for dinner. I was keeping my calorie intake between 1200-1500/day and making sure I got a certain amount of protein. It worked and I didn't feel like I was depriving myself because of the snackage... chocolate is always good. :)

So here I am again, determined to lose this weight by my birthday. Can I do it?

Please motivate me. I wanna be a hot momma.

July 4, 2010: Crazy Aunt Misty

2010-07-06T13:24:00.000-05:00

3 months old

2010-07-01T11:20:00.001-05:00

Zoey is 3 months old (14 weeks to be exact) and she is just blossoming. She is 12lb 11oz right now. Her colic is finally getting under control... she's happier and so interested in the world around her. She has thrush right now but it's not really bothering her. It's not spreading at all, it's just thickening in the same spot on the back of her tongue... no diaper rash to go with it either. She's on some meds for 10 days and she loves how they taste. She's so funny. :)

I am excited to start her on food, although I'll [probably] wait until the 4 month mark... I am toying with the idea of pureeing some bananas with breast milk, per my mother-in-law's recommendation! I just want to be sure she is sitting up even better in her bumbo before we do this. She is very strong, but I don't want to risk her choking. It excites me to think of introducing Zoey to new foods... seeing if she is as adventurous of an eater as Glenn and I are. So far she's pretty open to any type of nipple and whatever substance we give her, be it breast milk or a specific type of formula. She hasn't had any bad reactions yet and she just goes with the flow! (ha ha... "the flow"... get it?)

She is putting weight on her legs all the time right now. She likes to arch her back so that I will stand her up... I wish she'd slow down. She's soooo strong for her age. I'm definitely proud of her... you wouldn't know she was a preemie. I just wish she'd stop advancing so quickly, haha. She is pretty closing to rolling over in both directions... belly-to-back and back-to-belly... she can get on her sides pretty well in both directions, she just can't figure out how to move her arm out of the way. Right now, she just loves to stand and look around at everyone. She's adorable and I love her.

Zoey on YouTube

2010-06-26T13:19:00.005-05:00

I'm going to start posting videos on YouTube of Zoey for all you family and friends who live far away. This way you can watch her grow up beyond just pictures. Enjoy the first of many:

It feels like just yesterday...

2010-06-25T11:50:00.005-05:00

It feels like just yesterday I was laying in the hospital just waiting... waiting and not knowing what was going to happen and when it was going to happen. I still feel like a large chunk of my life has been taken away, even though it has been 3 months since Zoey was born... but in reality, I've only had her home for 2 of those months. Really, really hard to believe...

I've come to the realization that placentas are evil little things. A necessary evil... I can't even count on both hands how many people have issues with it... low-lying, completely lying, splitting in half, lol... I mean, wow! Maybe I just never noticed it before because I never knew what to worry about... but it seems like it's everywhere now... I only hope to God that no one I know has to go through the same thing I did.

It still feels like yesterday that I was fainting in the bathroom, with four nurses hovering over me... like yesterday that I was crying in pain when the pain meds weren't kicking in fast enough... crying because my baby was regressing in NICU instead of progressing.

I've said this 100 times and I'll say it again. I would do it all over again. This baby girl is truly a miracle and was worth every fight during the TTC process, every tear shed, and every long night in the hospital. I'm getting back in the swing of life, but I still feel drained at the thought that most of my 2010 was spent dealing with the hospital. I look forward to it being a distant memory so I don't remember the fight as vividly. I still feel like I just got home.

Sometimes I just stare at her and cry a little. What a precious gift she is... and she is mine.

12 Weeks Old: Pictures Worth 1,000 Words!

2010-06-17T14:54:00.004-05:00

I have nothing to say. This little girl has stolen my heart! I can't believe she turns 3 months old 1 week from today....

11 weeks and counting...

2010-06-08T15:48:00.004-05:00

How can you not just L O V E that face?! This is what I get to wake up to every morning... I couldn't be happier with her. At 11 weeks old she is smiling more often, holding her head up for longer intervals, and even sleeping a little longer at night. We're not quite at the "sleeping through the night" phase but I'm sure it's close. She's still sleeping in our room but that will soon change. Three months old will mean moving to the crib. I'm sure I won't get a wink of sleep the first few nights as I get up to go check on her. Even with a baby monitor, I don't see myself just snoozing comfortably...
She is starting to observe the world around her with brighter eyes. She's noticing that she can actually make things move and hold them, too. I love the surprised look on her face when she realizes I've put something in her hand... or when she swings her arm and her toy sways above her head. You can see she is thisclose to actually grabbing on her own will... I love it. :)
Everything else is pretty much the same... she's on breast milk during the day and spit-up formula at night. She's had her first taste of pineapple... well... kinda. I had some juice on my fingers and I wiped it on her paci instead of her napkin. She sucked on that paci like it was trying to escape! She liked it... ;) I know, I probably shouldn't do such things but I just had to share the sweetness with her. I can't wait until she is starting baby food... it'll be fun to see what she likes. She's very expressive with her eyebrows so I am sure I'll have many photos worth giggling at when the time comes.

So... it's been a while...

2010-05-24T14:21:00.011-05:00

Heh, sorry. I have been a bit pre-occupied as of late. Zoey is 8 weeks old and doing awesomely... she has some acid reflux so she's on baby Zantac, which typically works great, but every once in a while she'll still completely soak through the thickest burp cloths and bibs... she likes to do this in public... she really likes to miss the burp cloth and cover the front of my shirt.

She's in her colic stage, but I'm counting my blessings. Breastfeeding has slowed waaaaay down... I still do it periodically but the milk machine is coming to a halt. Yes, it's true... it's my fault though. I started pumping less often to purposely pull back the supply because we had no room left to store the milk, plus I was hurting from creating 10oz every 3 hours... I mean, seriously, it's difficult to lug that around... pumping less meant the supply went down to 10oz every 6 hours... and now I'm at about 7oz every 7 hours. I pump enough for 2 meals each time I pump so I am just scraping by without dipping into our freezer... but it works. On top of cutting down the pumping sessions, I started birth control to keep the PCOS... well... under control. Happy ovaries mean a happy mommy. We finally did buy a deep freezer so now we can put big people food in our regular freezer. I've decided I'm going to start doing formula at night to help her sleep better and keep the breast milk going during the day... stretch that stuff out longer before we have to do exclusive formula. Zoey eats better... she no longer has these feeding spells... just the reflux problems, but she'll eventually get over it. I wish I could have exclusively breast fed from her day one, but I'm just thankful I've produced as much milk as I have and that I'm able to give it to her. It saves us money and gives her the live antibodies she needs.

I'm now only 5 lb away from my pre-pregnancy weight! This means I only have 25 lbs to go before I'm where I want to be weight wise. Instead of buying Shape Ups, I bought Tone Ups... these are SO cute... I got them in the mail and ended up having to send them back for being too small, but I'm waiting for my new pair right now... what do you think?
They're half the price of Shape Ups, perform the same, and perfect for summer weather. Who wants to wear socks and heavy shoes in 90 degree humid weather? Not me.

Okay so that's about it on the baby front... here are a few pictures for your viewing enjoyment...

...at a friend's house...

...having an underwater adventure!

...hanging out on daddy's lap...

Mothers Day!

Best Friends :)

My Sweet Little Peach

2010-05-06T17:18:00.004-05:00

Zoey had her first photo shoot today at just 6 weeks old. I am so proud of my sweet little peach. :) She did a great job for the photographer. I am very blessed to know two very talented photographers. These photos were taken by Angela Crutcher. You can experience more of her art here: Angela Crutcher Photography. I urge you to do so... she is very creative and once you get started, you can't stop looking at all of her incredible photos.

Enjoy little miss Zoey...

Flood Tragedy Strikes Music City

2010-05-05T09:24:00.005-05:00

This video is quite possibly the best slide show I've seen recapping what just happened here in Middle Tennessee. It gives me a sense of peace and thankfulness as my own neighborhood wasn't struck nearly as bad. I still have my house. I still have my yard.

The video is somewhat cut off in the blog but you can view it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFjaQoOdJvI

Tennessee is known as the Volunteer State and this just proves even more why that is... are we sitting around whining? No. We're doing something about it, helping our neighbors, and making the best of this epic tragedy. I've seen a lot of positive things on the news here about how people are stepping in to help one another. No looting, no crime... people are actually working together.

There is still a lot to do... a lot of recovery that will take months... historic places are destroyed right now...but we're Music City and we will pull through. May God be with those who have suffered great losses in this storm.

Mommy Products - A Review

2010-04-30T09:59:00.003-05:00

I've been a mother for a little over 5 weeks now, but only actively for almost 2. As I go along, I learn by doing and using. There are some products I have fallen in love with and I have to recommend them to all of you who are looking to enter motherhood in the future. I also included a link to purchase them. I'll add more to these lists as I trek through motherhood. For now, here are 4 items that are must-haves...

1. Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Bags.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2735035
Oh my goodness, there couldn't be a quicker or more efficient way to sterilize everything your baby needs to put in his/her mouth. Each bag can be used up to 20 times... for just $4.99 you can get a box of 5 bags. I use them for literally everything... pumping supplies, bottles, nipples, pacifiers... you name it! You just rinse everything really well, add 2oz of water to the bag, then 3 minutes in the microwave and you're ready to rock! This is great if you only have so many items and don't want to run the dishwasher 10 times a day... they're easily portable, too.

2. Summer Infant SwaddleMe.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3726424
These make swaddling your baby a piece of pie! Zoey doesn't really like to be tightly swaddled, she likes some freedom to move her arms and legs, so we have one that is a size bigger than we need so she can still extend her legs and poke her arms out the top, but be kept nice and warm at night.

3. Soothie Bottles.
http://www.walmart.com/ip/The-First-Years-Soothie-Bottle-Starter-Set-BPA-Free/10877976
Soothie pacifiers are quite possibly the best pacis out there. If your baby loves his/her Soothie paci, try this bottle. I have a collection of Dr. Brown's I use regularly as well, but Zoey (as you all know) has some suck+swallow issues as a preemie, and sometimes even the Dr. Brown's choke her because even when she isn't sucking, the milk is leaking through. I only have one 5oz Soothie bottle someone gave me. The Soothie nipple doesn't leak... she has to actually suck on it to get the milk to flow. This is what we needed right now. Less choking is always a good thing. She loves her Soothie pacis, now she loves her bottles, too. While the Dr. Browns are much better for gas, I'd rather her have a little more gas than choke and turn blue... which brings me to my next product...

4. Mylicon.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2435248
These are gas relief drops that apparently taste good because Zoey really enjoys them! They work, too. I even give her some before I breastfeed. Now, there is much less of her arching her back in pain before she gets out that burp.

Looking for a weight loss buddy?

2010-04-26T21:27:00.004-05:00

I think it helps to have someone to keep you accountable when it comes to losing weight. I have about 35 lbs of pregnancy weight I'd like to lose right now. Okay, it isn't all pregnancy weight... about 20 of it is... the rest is what I would have liked to of lost before the pregnancy... This isn't something I can do on my own. Before my wedding, I lost 17 lbs by simply doing Wii boxing several nights a week. It was fun and exciting. I used SparkPeople.com to keep myself in line and it worked really well. But... 35 lbs is twice as much to lose.

When I came home from having Zoey, I was a swollen whale. I have managed to drop 20 lbs in 4 weeks, mostly from pumping so much milk all the time and just not having much of an appetite. The weight loss has slowed a bit, which was expected. I have 2 more weeks before I'm allowed to start working out and I'm dying here... I want to start now. So I figure I'll at least get a decent plan in place and put myself out there... you can all help me stay in line. I sure could use it and I'm sure one of you could use a little help, too. Anyone with me?

This is my plan...

1. Breastfeeding + Pumping.
You burn 600 calories a day just doing this. 600 calories! Hello! That's lunch! God knows I'm a milk machine right now so I just may be burning more than that...

2. Shape-Ups by Sketchers.
Not the cutest shoes in the world, but my mother in law has lost a lot of weight just wearing these shoes every day and she looks amazing. My plan is to buy some and to walk the Green Way at the local parks with Zoey as many weekends as possible.

3. Wii Fit.
This "game" is a great weight loss tool. It has a weight and BMI tracker, plus a wide variety of exercises. If I just do this 3 nights a week for 30 minutes, it'll make a huge difference. It's fun, too, so it doesn't really feel like exercise... thus, helping me get over the "chore" of working out. It's all a mental thing, you see....

I know that with producing milk, I'm supposed to consume additional calories so my supply doesn't go down. I'm not going to really focus on my calorie intake so much as I'll focus on how healthy things are. Since having Zoey, I've been consuming more fruit, drinking more soy milk, eating more veggies and whole grains. These are things I always liked, I just eat even more now. I have little desire for greasy cheeseburgers.

I plan on starting this new regiment full-force on Monday, May 10. I'll be a little over 6 weeks post surgery then. My goal is to lose 35 lb by October 5... my 26th birthday. Seriously if I can't do it by then, I have issues. I should be able to lose it by early September but I decided to set a more realistic and comfortable goal. I want to be healthy and fit for my baby girl. She is already trying to crawl so I'm going to be in for it earlier than expected and need to have the enery to keep up with her. October is my favorite month of the year... it's the perfect weather in Tennessee and I figure my birthday will be a good time to go shopping for new fall/winter clothes as my reward. I have a thing for sweaters.

So! Who's with me? Anybody??

Home Sweet Home.

2010-04-23T11:18:00.006-05:00

I think I'll be perfectly content never stepping foot in Centennial Women's Hospital again. Don't get me wrong. The staff is awesome. But now that 8 weeks of my life has been given to that place... 8 weeks that felt like 8 years... I am content to never go back.

We are finally home with Zoey. On April 18, we finally got to bring her home. None of it seemed real until we were being walked out to our car by the discharge nurse. She is finally ours. After 3.5 weeks in NICU, she is ours.

She is doing well. She still has some issues with feeding. Being a preemie, her suck/swallow coordination is a little off and she forgets to breathe in between sucks, so we have to help her with that and burp her very frequently. The pediatrician says it's a reflux thing she'll grow out of as well. I look forward to her growing out of it.

I'm back to breastfeeding a little more. We figured out why she kept choking... well, we knew it was because I couldn't control my flow, but we found a solution. Pump first, then feed using a nipple shield. Works like a charm. Sometimes I just go ahead and feed without pumping and she's improving. We can't give up the shield yet, but we're getting closer. Sometimes we bottle feed my milk and that is going okay... she had a horrible choking spell in the hospital on April 6 using the Dr. Browns, and we were afraid to try them again, but she's taking them just fine now...

Home life is great. I love having her. She's a good baby! She sleeps good between feedings. She only gets fussy when she can't get a burp out or when she has hiccups, which she does have all the time, but she doesn't fuss the whole time. The dogs have kissed all over her, the cats have been sniffy, but not once have I heard a hiss or growl from any of the furbabies. So far everyone gets along just fine.

I'm glad the hospital nightmare is over. People ask me how I feel about a second child. My feeling is... I want one. But don't expect it for at least 3 years. I don't even want to discuss pregnancy until then. I love my daughter and am so thankful for her after the journey we've been on together. The hospital was a small chapter in my life that I am pleased to end. Motherhood post-hospital is a brand new chapter that I look forward to continuing.

Let's hope the rest of 2010 is much better...

Sweet moment between father and daughter in the hospital

A Hospital Update on Zoey

2010-04-06T13:26:00.000-05:00

I am going to try my best to blog via BlackBerry so please excuse my typos...

Zoey is now 13 days old. The only thing keeping her in the hospital is the infamous spell count. Zoey has to go 5 days without forgetting to breathe... This week she went 4 days, we were asked to spend the night, getting ready to take her home... and then she had 5 spells in one day. I lost count of how many times I cried. I only completely lost it once though. When does this cycle end? PCOS, vasa previa, and a baby who can't breathe. Everything else with her is perfect. She eats a little over 2 oz every 4 hours right now and breastfeeds well.

Speaking of breast milk... Oh my goodess... I have a problem, but a good one... I over-produce. I can pump more than a day's supply of Zoey's meals in just 15 minutes. I'm not kidding. My freezer is too full right now... I pump ever 3-4 hours and only nurse her once a day... Can you imagine how much milk that is? In a day I have a week's worth of meals for her. This is definitely one thing I wanted very badly and I got it. I can produce 6-8 oz each time I pump so we're definitely in the milking business.

We have worked on decorating Zoey's room some more and boy is it cute. It's good to be home with my furbabies but when I get up in the middle of the night to pump instead of breastfeed, I feel like crying. I worked so hard for her and I don't have her... The hospital does. She is sweet as can be, such a cuddler... I miss her horribly when we leave in the afteroon. Eventually she will grow out of her preemie stage and remember to breathe. Right now it's just what preemies do.

I guess that is all I can update... I will try to blog more but right now I only can via BB. The internet is off at home until I make more $ again.

We've been discharged...

2010-03-27T17:48:00.005-05:00

I'm no longer a patient in this hospital, but we've been allowed a courtesy stay for tonight. Zoey is progressing but I still won't be able to take her home just yet. I'm going to have a very difficult time leaving her here tomorrow night.

My milk supply is rapidly increasing. Thursday, I started out with 0.5mL of colostrum every other time I'd pump... today (Saturday) I've gotten 23mL of actual milk. Zoey eats 20mL right now, which means she can exclusively have my milk as long as I can keep producing. Today we attempted to actually breastfeed and she latched right on, but she was so sleepy, she didn't really feed. She felt comfort though, she just wanted to nuzzle and cuddle and stay latched on, but she didn't really drink. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. What upset me was that the nurse decided "we shouldn't force the breast on her but she needs to eat so I need to wake her up." She took her from my arms, woke her up, and bottle fed her my milk. Why couldn't we wake her to feed off me? That is why I am here. I didn't understand this... they also told me we can only try the breast once per shift, so I can't try again until tonight, but I at least have 23mL of milk pumped to give her just in case she doesn't want to latch on tonight.
Each day she has progressed big time and they have been able to take her off all breathing help. She is quite lovely... becoming more aware of Glenn and me... she just stares at us and we've been able to comfort her cries with our voices and touch. It's wonderful to be able to do that for her. Last night was the first time I got to hold her and it was wonderful. I've been limited on holding her because she has the feeding tube in her umbilical, which is in a major artery, so they've had to limit contact with her. That is supposed to come out tonight and an IV is going in her hand instead. I should be able to hold her more now.

I hope to have her home for Easter. She is a progressing steadily so I don't see why we couldn't... we just ask that everyone pray for her and that she keeps her strength up. She has lost almost a whole pound and is now down to 5lb 10oz, but they said it's okay because she had a lot of fluid to work out of her little system. As for me... well, I am progressing, too. My feet and ankles are bigger than they were when pregnant because of the c-section so that really sucks. They told me it'd get worse before it got better but I just need to keep trying to move and rest as much as possible.

Here's hoping for a quick recovery for little miss Zoey...

March 24, 2010: Zoey Elizabeth is Born

2010-03-25T21:55:00.006-05:00

Zoey Elizabeth Wallace
Centennial Women's Hospital

4:19 p.m., 6lb 6 oz, 19.5" long

At 4:00 p.m. I received my spinal injection for the c-section. It was so easy and much less painful than getting an IV. I was calm as a cucumber, completely relaxed and so ready to meet my baby girl. The hospital took extra precautions due to our situation... I had 2 IV's going, one was on hold for blood in case the vessel from the vasa previa got nicked in the surgery. NICU was in there a well, ready and waiting for Zoey's debut. Surprisingly, the spinal med took a long time to work it's way up my body... they kept tilting the table back to help it move up to my belly. Being tipped back eventually made me nauseated, but a shot of Zofran in my IV took care of that.

I think I did pretty well during the procedure... I talked the whole time and enjoyed the moment. My OB said when she cut into me, that ugly vessel was looking right at her. I got to see this thing and it was definitely an odd-looking placenta! Zoey was born crying and that made me feel so much better. I knew it meant her lungs were somewhat functioning. After crying and gasping for a while, she finally decided she needed some assistance. She was put in NICU and there she stays... for now. Each day she graduates a little bit, progresses enough to where they can take her off something. Her lungs are still a little crackly and her x-rays a bit fuzzy, but she is fighting for her life and determined to get out of there.

Unfortunately, all that magnesium sulfate I was on has affected her and that breaks my heart. She is so sleepy... I hate it for her. But they say she just needs to sleep it off... eventually she'll work it out of her system. As for me... well. I'm also struggling quite a bit... bed rest for 5 weeks and all those meds have made my healing process much slower. I had a couple episodes today where I almost fainted and several nurses had to come in and help. I'm in a lot of pain, even on the Percocet and Motrin. My body is just exhausted from this journey.

In the meantime, the lactation consultants have me pumping to bring in my milk supply. Zoey cannot have anything yet, but they offered to freeze it for me. Pumping is definitely painful... but each time I do it, a little more colostrum (aka Liquid Gold) comes in and they will be able to give her what I produce. It's getting easier to deal with, too. I pump every 3 hours right now. It's worth it knowing I am able to provide for my baby girl what no one else can... what she needs the most right now is extra nutrients and my colostrum has that... every drop counts.

The hardest part for me right now is that I can't hold her. I held her (sorta) after she was born and was placed on my chest, all swaddled... but once she was taken away that was it... no more baby in my arms. That hurts the most. But I know she is in the best care and I finally got to see her tonight. We want to bond with her so badly but it's just not possible right now. We know she is much safer now though... the scary placenta is gone and I can rest assured that Zoey is safe.

Right now, we don't think she looks like either one of us... she is a pretty baby, but where did she come from? Her ultrasound one week ago was right on the money... she was over 6 lbs! She's in newborn size diapers right now but I think she'll be able to wear some preemie stuff we got as well. She is still small, even though she's considered large for a 35 week gestation baby. They aren't used to the babies being that big.

I look forward to her getting over this hump and coming home with me. She is a fighter like me. I am so proud of her :)

We're having a baby... my baby and me.

2010-03-24T11:05:00.002-05:00

4:00 this afternoon, Centennial Women's Hospital, Zoey will make her debut! My OB wasn't kidding when she texted me yesterday and asked if I'd be okay to deliver today... basically, they gave her the clear to decide when this week... not just limited to Friday... she decided ASAP is best. I didn't really think it'd be today but boy was I wrong...

I got to eat breakfast but now I'm limited to ice chips, which I am THANKFUL for because I was originally told I couldn't even have those! I had a consult with anesthesia, he gave me the run-down on the surgery, and let me know that I have to have 2 IVs going, which sucks, but oh well. With this c-section especially, there is a large risk for bleeding... I hope this placenta behaves itself long enough to come out! He gave the permission for ice chips up to 2 hours before the surgery so THANK YOU MISTER!!

Pray for a short NICU stay... this vasa previa nightmare is almost over!

Day 34... only 4 days to go? What?

2010-03-22T12:17:00.003-05:00

Apparently it's true. Friday, March 26 is the delivery date... so our originally scheduled date held up! I don't have a time yet but should very soon. The paperwork for my OB's temporary privileges should be completed today so maybe tomorrow I'll know my daughter's scheduled birth time. Thursday I will have my last ultrasound to check on the placenta placement one more time before they decide where to cut and if they need to go horizontal or vertical with it. We know there are anterior and posterior placentas but unsure how high up they go, so we'll see!

I got some other good news today. My doctor-of-the-week decided to wean me off the labor-stopping meds because the effect they have on my heart rate. It goes up and down quite a bit and she doesn't want it pumping extra blood during the surgery, causing more bleeding than necessary. I do have to stay on the magnesium sulfate for now, but I am perfectly cool with that. The combo of the two was way worse than just the magnesium itself. I just need to keep aware of any contractions I have, but she wants me to be comfortable these last couple of days before the surgery. This means I won't get bugged as often in the middle of the night :) I was woken up every 2 hours... rotating between doing vitals and giving me the pill. Now I can just be woken up every 4... AND I don't have to go on the monitor every 8 hours anymore, just every 12. WHEW! My belly will be SO happy about that. Now this is all hoping nothing drastically changes between now and Friday... hopefully my body will behave.

I feel good... mentally, that is. I feel better than I have in a while. I guess because there is finally an end in sight instead of me just sitting here watching the days go by with no answers. That has been very rough, but the end is finally here, and all this will be just a memory.

Day 31... Eh...

2010-03-19T11:40:00.005-05:00

The amnio test was yesterday and it went really well, even though the results didn't go so well. The needle wasn't very painful at all (the IVs hurt a lot worse), just breathing was a little rough having a needle in my belly... but it was neat to watch the needle on the ultrasound and see the doctor pull the amniotic fluid. I had lots of it so it was very easy and quick for him to grab it. He took a little extra and asked if he had permission to study it... yeah sure, go right ahead. Have your fun.

I was full of optimism and hope... hopeful that the 4 steroid shots actually made a difference in Zoey's lung development... hopeful she was at least transitional... I didn't expect her to be fully mature, I mean... she is just 34 week gestation... even if she is measuring far ahead... but this is the break down:

55 or higher is mature
40-54 is transitional

Zoey is at 32.

I don't think I would have cried so much this morning if she was at 40. I would have at least felt more at ease that she was well on her way. I texted with my OB all morning, she called the dr for me, got the rundown, and relayed the info back to me. He basically told her that this pushes things back a week (unless an emergency arises), he may repeat the amnio next week and see what happens, but until then I need to just hold tight a little longer. Unfortunately, one week in this place already feels like one month and I am dying to be home...

My body has tried to reject her twice now... how many times will they wait and how many more drugs will they put me on before just taking her out? This vasa previa is a very scary thing... I know enough about it to lose sleep at night. As she gets bigger, what will happen?

I finally spoke to the doctor and he explained in detail how lung maturity works... it tends to rapidly speed up instead of steadily incline, so Zoey could very well be fine next Friday. Or she could need NICU, but he thinks she would do better than I think. So the news is getting somewhat better... he said he heard my OB got temporarily privileges approved for the hospital and he is going to ask her about availability next Friday, March 26, my originally scheduled c-section date, and see what materials she likes to use and get an O.R. scheduled.

I am trying to hold onto this hope. One more week... I can do this...

Day 29... FINALLY some decent news!

2010-03-17T13:50:00.003-05:00

This morning started with an unexpected ultrasound. The tech doing Zoey's measurements kept doing them over and over and over again because she didn't believe what she was seeing. Zoey has grown from an estimated 4 lb to 6.5 lb in just 3 weeks. My amniotic fluid has increased as well, which is a good thing. She is measuring about 2 weeks ahead right now. It was time for me to stand up and ask what the heck is going on with a delivery date.

The doctor said we can schedule an amnio test for tomorrow morning and I asked him about the risks involved with it. After we talked, I decided to go for it. The risks aren't as high when you're this far along, aside from pre-term labor, which we all know I've already gone into that twice since being here, so he felt comfortable with me doing the test. I've had 4 steroid shots so this baby better be ready for the real world! Can you imagine if I carried her to term??? Good Lord. She'd be 10 lbs.

I feel good right now. Once I get good results on the amnio (notice my optimism has returned) I am going to ask for the first dang O.R. appt available! Come on Zoey, show these people what you're made of, baby!!

Day 27... A Bad Case of "The Mondays"

2010-03-16T11:14:00.003-05:00

Zoey tried to escape again.

I was woken up at 5 a.m. on day 27 for the routine monitoring... it wasn't 20 minutes later the nurse came in and said I was contracting every 3 minutes (again). I've come to learn that when I lay certain ways, I feel contractions more than other ways... I happened to be laying a way where I felt them but not all the time.

We tried emptying my bladder because that can sometimes help, and I laid in another position... instead of getting better, things got worse. The nurse decided I shouldn't eat until I saw the doctor, so I skipped breakfast... and lunch...

They upped the magnesium (twice) and gave me an injection of Terbutaline, which did stop the contractions for a couple hours. Once they started up again, they were bigger and getting more painful. The doctor decided to not poke me every 4 hours and to try the pill form of the shot instead... they gave me a double dose, which worked, and a shot of a pain + anti-nausea med, which actually made me more nauseated instead. By that time, I just wanted a cold rag for my face and to sleep this away... and that is what I did... I managed to get into a comfortable position, propped by many pillows, and slept for about an hour.

Now, I'm allowed to eat but I don't feel like it half the time. The magnesium by itself gives you flu symptoms and doubled with the Terbutaline, it's overwhelming. I just keep crying because I feel horrible. I feel over-medicated and they keep offering me things to make me comfortable and I am just telling them no right now because I don't feel more comfortable with all the meds, I feel drugged out... I don't want anymore drugs, just the bare minimum. So I'm not only tied to the IV now, I'm tied to the monitor 24/7, until otherwise noted. I can't get up out of bed anymore without having a nurse come in to disconnect the monitor. When trying to sleep at night, there is always someone in here messing with me, moving the monitor around my belly because it obviously gets moved when I'm trying to get comfy in my sleep.

The nurses are saying that the doctor will be happy with getting me to 35 weeks, so I have 1 week to go, but Zoey obviously wants out and I can't keep going like this... will I even make it another week? My OB is on top of things so we'll see... I hope to have good news from her very soon.

Day 26...

2010-03-14T16:03:00.002-05:00

This place is starting to get to me. I think I've done pretty well the past 3.5 weeks but now I'm not as strong as I once was. It all started last night when I laid down to go to sleep. Before I knew it, I was 10 tissue deep in tears. There is something about going to sleep alone in a hospital room when you've been so used to sleeping next to your husband and 2 cats for the last (almost) 3 years. As the days on the calendar go by, I feel like I'm getting weaker and weaker. I know this has to come to a close soon and it's only a small portion of my life, but it's getting increasingly difficult to stay strong and it's so easy for people on the outside to tell me these things. I think part of what has broken me is being tied down to this IV. I can't even take a shower when I want without someone helping me. I also have to be woken up in the middle of the night, every few hours, for vitals and for the monitor. I can't even sleep this place away peacefully anymore without being reminded every few hours that I'm not in the comfort of my home. I know my hormones are at an all-time high and that is a big part of the problem, too.

Yesterday Glenn and I toured the NICU and saw a baby in there, who was born at 33 weeks, and weighed just over 3 lbs. I know Zoey is already bigger than that baby was, but it still put things into perspective. However, it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Seeing the NICU gave me peace, not fear... I was seeing it from the outside, not as a mother with a baby in there. It helped me feel more comfort if Zoey does end up in there. Now I know, in advance, where she may end up going, and since I know what it looks like and the ambiance, I feel better about her going in. Yes, it's going to hurt to see my sweet baby girl in NICU if she has to go, but at least I'll feel more at ease than I otherwise could have felt.

Comfort wise... it's getting more difficult to be comfortable. Zoey is resting very low right now and I'm getting bigger by the day, which means the few stretch marks I do have are now very sore. Mostly they hurt because they are constantly strapped to the monitor. I've been trying to keep them moisturized but it's very hard when that monitor is always hooked up and that goo is always irritating them. My IV still hurts from time to time, my feet are swelling again from all the extra fluid, the magnesium sulfate is giving me headaches, my legs are very sore from laying in bed for hours and days and weeks...

There is one thing I do know. I love this baby and I am thankful I was even able to get pregnant so I can have a baby to call my own. For all I know, this will be my only pregnancy. I may never be able to have another baby. Having Zoey will be worth it in the end and this will be a distant memory. But for now, I'm going to cry from time to time because the end doesn't feel close. I'm allowed that much, right?

Day 22 was overly eventful... in a bad way.

2010-03-11T10:44:00.003-06:00

Evening of day 21, I went on the fetal/contraction monitor for an hour as usual. The nurse didn't say anything when she took me off so I assumed everything was a-okay. I go to bed as usual, oblivious to what was about to happen...

Day 22, 1:30 a.m., nurse comes in wanting to put me on the contraction monitor... I was very annoyed. It's 1:30 a.m., and it's not normal to wake me up for this... so why now? She didn't say. I let her put me on without question and I went back to sleep.

2:30 a.m., nurse comes back... I had 6 contractions in 20 minutes... in my sleep... "Are you sure?" I asked. She called the doctor who was equally as confused as to WHY she was being woken up for this... WHY wasn't she told earlier that there was an issue and that I'd need put back on the monitor. Someone messed up... apparently she didn't read my contractions earlier in the evening, someone else noticed a heavy pattern and called her out on it in the middle of the night. *sigh*

So anyway, 3:00 a.m. they decide to start an IV and I was bummed. Really bummed. But I knew it was a possibility at any moment, so at least I enjoyed my freedom while I had it. This is what sucked... the screw-up nurse was the first to start my IV and of course, she blew the vein in my right hand. I started shaking and crying... it really hurt. She goes to get another nurse, who was too scared to try because apparently I have small veins. *sigh again* So they go get some old guy who is apparently the pro at IVs... they switch hands and he blew the vein in my left hand. Now I was really in tears and could not stop shaking. He decides to go into the wrist, and it hurt more than I could have imagined, but he finally got it right. Third time's a charm, I guess.

Once that event was over, the nurse asks if I need anything else... um, yeah, I do! Tylenol! "Where is the pain?" She asks.... really? lol... all I can do now is laugh... "Both my hands!" What did she think? Really? They felt like they were on fire! So she brought me Tylenol and a first dose of a contraction-stopping med. They kept me on the monitor...

7 a.m., my favorite nurse came in and I was SO RELIEVED that she'd be taking care of me during the day. She tells me the first dose of the med didn't work, so she was going to double it, but I wouldn't really notice any side effects. She was right, I didn't notice a thing, and dose #2 didn't work either...

9 a.m. she came back in... "I have some bad news. I'll have to put you on a magnesium sulfate drip. You're not responding to the meds." By this point, the contractions actually started to hurt and I was horribly uncomfortable. Before they were nothing... just a lot of pressure I could handle... I wouldn't call it pain. I've had cysts rupture that hurt worse! But by 9 I was hurting and she didn't want me hurting, so they started a blast of magnesium sulfate for 30 minutes.

During that 30 minutes, I did really well... it just made me feel like I had the flu, but I never got nauseated. My heart rate got dangerously high though, so that is when they decided to pull it back to half the dose. The good news is IT WORKED. The contractions slowed drastically, although it still took a few hours... but now I maybe have 2 in an hour, or none for several hours. This is good news, but also bad that I have to be on this stuff until delivery. It gives me headaches a lot and sometimes I feel really weak... like, I can only shower for so long... but otherwise, I'm okay!

Let me just say, showering is WEIRD with an IV hanging out. I've enjoyed the last 3 weeks free of help, but now I can't even undress/dress myself without a nurse present to weed the IV through my clothes. Boo. It's okay though... I feel higher in spirits again today. Yesterday was rough... so far, day 22 was the worse day here... but I'm back to a happy place. The only thing I'm really bummed about is the limitations with my right hand... and I'm right handed. But it hurts because of the IV's placement in my wrist... yesterday I couldn't even type, so it has gotten better, but I can't finish Zoey's blanket now. Glenn went ahead and packed up a lot of my entertainment... the Wii, because I can't use my wrist well enough to use the controller... the blanket-making stuff because I can't hold it properly to loom... oh well.

Zoey is still strong; none of this has phased her in the least bit. My doctor-of-the-week was shocked I hadn't gotten a consult with the NICU before asking for it. She was very apologetic... I guess that was supposed to happen as soon as I got checked in here. So hopefully soon I'll have some answers and it looks like we'll be delivering here next week. Hopefully my OB can do it! :) If not, I'm okay with it... I just want Zoey to arrive safely right now.

Day 21... Can I get a consult in room 6223?!

2010-03-09T15:42:00.002-06:00

So....

I spoke to my OB today though various text messages and it reminded me why I was so set on keeping her as my OB during this pregnancy. I couldn't ask for a better doctor. Seriously.

It seems the doctors here aren't communicating at all. My doctor for this week was unaware of anything regarding delivery... unaware I was told 34 weeks... unaware last week's doctor said he'd keep me to 38 weeks. The only thing she was sure of was that Zoey needs to come out by 36 weeks, we can't go to 38. She said with conditions like this, she'd do 34-36. Okay, so we agree there... she said she would come to a consensus with the other doctors here about a delivery time frame.

So I asked my OB if she had already canceled my March 26 c-section and she told me she put in for the week of March 16... as in next week. BUT first, a Neonatologist (NICU) has to consult with me and it's up to the 2 of us on what happens with the delivery, not up to the high risk doctors. I didn't know this. She told me she hasn't even gotten a straight answer from my supposed "lead high risk doctor" here so I guess we're taking this into our own hands.

Tomorrow I am going to ask for the consult. AND... get this... my OB is just so cool... she is asking for temporary privileges at this hospital so she can deliver me here! If she can't, she still wants me to deliver here and she said she will just be in attendance and be there for me. I'm cool with this... the issue is the NICU... there isn't one at her hospital like I thought. So instead of being potentially separated from Zoey, it's best I deliver here. I can agree to that.

Her fear is the same as mine... that I go to sleep one night and bleed in the middle of the night and then we're in big trouble. If this vessel ruptures, Zoey's blood supply will be diminished and she can die. Sorry but I'd rather get this evil placenta out of me and have her safely in NICU than risk her dying because I didn't wake up soon enough. This terrifies me every night I lay down to sleep. It terrifies her, too. That is enough for me.

Yes, it's going to be painful to see my daughter in the NICU, but it would be more painful to watch her die because of vasa previa. I will not stand for that.

I'll let you know as soon as I know anything regarding a date. Say a prayer.

Day 17... and counting...

2010-03-05T11:56:00.003-06:00

Day 17 in the hospital. I'm kind of getting the run-around now on when Zoey will be born. I was originally told 34 weeks and was really excited but a totally different doctor here told me 36-38 weeks, but they don't know what to do... it's to the point where they want to wait, but it's also dangerous to wait because of the risk of bleeding... I wish I had a better answer. My OB came to visit me on her day off this week and told me she has let the doctors here know that she is ready for the c-section whenever they will let her do it... but it's in their hands, not hers. I guess I'll see what my "doctor of the week" next week says...

In the meantime, I've started a blanket for Zoey. My friend Bekah brought me some Knifty Knitter looms and some baby yarn. This is a good long-term project for me to work on. I also have all my scrapbook stuff here so I can work on that as well. I'm not short of things to do, but that doesn't mean I'm not stir-crazy... being in this room for days gets daunting. This weekend is supposed to be 60 degrees of bliss so I plan to spend some time outside in the wheelchair. I HAVE to get out of here!

So, not much has changed. I've stabilized, which is good, although sometimes I feel sharp cramps and like she's literally going to fall out. It makes me afraid to stand up! My heart rate was really fast earlier this week... I'm talking 130 when I was just sitting here... the doctor suspected it was the Claritin-D they put me on and sure enough, after 2 days off it, my heart no longer feels like it's trying to escape my body. My allergies are angry, but at least I'm not short of breath. :) I'll take it! I think I was more uncomfortable with my heart racing than with the allergies... for now. I can still do the Benadryl at night so as long as I have that, I'm good.

I also just got asked to sign something giving permission for them to study my placenta after the delivery. They're doing a study on pre-term labor and obviously the vasa previa. I signed. If it can help someone else then hey, why not. Although I still wouldn't mind my medical bills being picked up in exchange... just sayin'. ;)

Showered With Love

2010-03-01T13:32:00.004-06:00

I just wanted to extend a thank you to everyone who hosted and attended both baby showers for miss Zoey. Those who couldn't make it to either but sent something anyway, thank you as well! This little girl is definitely loved and I couldn't be more excited to see her use everything we got.

December 19, 2009
The Belew House

February 28, 2010
Centennial Women's Hospital, room 6223

Shopping for Zoey

2010-02-27T19:36:00.002-06:00

Well, night #11 in the hospital and I am just now making online purchases for Zoey. You should be proud! I found the cutest shop on Etsy.com and just had to buy something... little did I know, I'd literally spend an hour staring at just 4 pages of items before I made my final selections. I guarantee I will buy from this shop again. The patterns available are just perfect. Check it out:

Birdies...
Onesie, Burp Cloth, Bib set

Birdie Bib
(I also ordered a burp cloth in this print!)

Customized "Z" Onesie
(I also ordered a burp cloth in this print!)

I cannot wait to get these items and put my baby girl in them! The shop owner also makes wall art and pillow cases using all her trendy fabrics so I'm pretty sure I'll buy from her again.

I. Love. Etsy.

1 week down...

2010-02-24T12:06:00.003-06:00

It has been exactly 1 week since I got admitted to Centennial Women's. I'm not meeting as many new nurses anymore, I've had them all at this point. There has only been one in the mix I didn't like very much but I'm still trying to figure her out. Our conversation this morning went like this:

Nurse: "Can I get you anything?"

Me: "Not really, I'm about to shower though and was thinking if someone could change my sheets, that'd be great." (it had been 3 days since they changed them and I sweat a lot at night because of my hormones, haha)

Nurse: "No problem, I'll do it." (goes to get sheets, comes back) "The sonographer is on the floor and will need to see you, so hurry in the shower."

Me: "Should I wait then? I don't mind waiting."

Nurse: "No, go ahead, but don't be in there all day or she'll be sitting around waiting on you."

Me: "Well okay... I don't usually take long showers but they also never tell me in advance when they are coming, they just show up, so..."

Nurse: "I know, just hurry it up."

Wow. Really? I don't like being rushed... I look forward to my morning showers after sweating in bed all night. But I don't like being rude so of course, I rushed... and then sat around for another half hour after my shower waiting on the sonographer. Either way, who said I was going to take all day in the shower?? Mind you, this is the first older nurse I've had so maybe she feels the need to be motherly in some way... all the others aren't much older than me and we actually have conversations and laugh. I like the staff here. Maybe I'll learn to like this nurse, too... maybe she was just trying to be sarcastic/funny... but it sure didn't come off that way. Part of it could have also been that the songrapher had zero personality and maybe the nurse didn't want to deal with her... she was a tough cookie... had motorcycles on her scrubs, too.

The ultrasound showed that Zoey weighs at least 4 lbs and I am excited about that! Usually the measurements come in a little small, so I can assume she's probably more like 4.5 lbs. I am excited to see how big/small she really is at birth... I was 5 lb 12 oz so we'll see if she's close! I am just glad she's at least 4 lbs right now... most of the time, hospitals will let you go home with a 4 lb baby... sometimes they wait until 5 lbs, but either way, I feel more confident she'll be able to come home with me in normal time. As usual she looked great on the ultrasound... her belly and head were more at 33 weeks and I'm supposedly at 31, so yay for that too :) She is just growing, growing...

As for my cervix, it looks like things are the same, which is good news! It hasn't gotten any worse. It's still contracting and morphing in size, but it didn't go smaller than before, so that is good. I'm having more contractions during the day, but not enough to do meds yet. Sometimes I don't even feel them, they just show up on the monitor... other times I feel a strong pressure and tightening up, followed by a hot flash that makes my whole body break into a sweat.

In other good news, my feet are 100% back to normal! I noticed after one day on complete bed rest the swelling was gone. They are back to their bony selves ;) I can't wait to try my old shoe size... it's nice to be able to wear socks. I couldn't for a while; they just cut into my ankles. I'm watching my hands intently and waiting on them to go down, too... they went up a ring size so I currently have a sterling silver, Celtic-looking, Mother of Pearl ring in place of my wedding set. I do like this ring a lot but I miss my wedding rings... however, I think Mother of Pearl is appropriate and this is something I can pass down to Zoey some day :) My hands don't really look swollen, but this size 6 still fits snuggly on my ring finger and that tells a different story.

So things are going as well as they can at the moment. I am on the hunt for inexpensive/used premie clothes so I have a few things in case newborn sizes don't fit her. I've been looking on eBay and it kills me that people will sell a set of 10 outfits for $10 then try to charge $20 for shipping. Sorry, but I'm not buying. Let me know if you all happen to find some good places to buy preemie clothes for cheap... I did find PreemieStore.com which has some Walmart prices on their clothes, but the website is really poorly put together and that turns me off a bit. Everything in the web development, from the colors to the fonts, is just ugly and doesn't make me want to shop with them.

Any ideas?

Dear Zoey...

2010-02-22T20:31:00.002-06:00

Dear Zoey,

I can tell you're going to be a very ambitious and active little girl. You've been a great little baby in the womb and I've thoroughly enjoyed our time together thus far. However, I ask just one thing of you. Please stay inside the womb until mommy can reach 34 weeks of pregnancy. I know you've always been ahead of the game and are eager to meet the world, but sometimes it's good to just rest a little and be patient. I already know the lesson on patience is going to be a tough one... but believe me, it's valuable.

The doctors want you to stay inside for just 3 more weeks... you can do that, right? I hope I'm not asking too much. I'll give you a birth date as soon as I find out what it's going to be. Just hang inside for a little while longer and I promise it'll be worth it.

We love you! Now behave...

~Mommy & Daddy

What I Know So Far...

2010-02-19T07:47:00.003-06:00

1. My cervix is doing a dance. Different dr's speak in different measurements but to keep this the same as before... remember when I said my cervix was thinning from 3.2-2.6, then to a 2.5? Well yesterday it was bouncing from a 3.5-0.8, in keeping with the measurements I'm used to... Zoey's head is in the way and pressing on the cervix, causing the drastic change in measurements. 0.1 means water breaks.

2. My OB may get to deliver me after all if I can make it to 34 weeks and if her hospital will take babies that young. I wouldn't have to do an ambulance again, Glenn could take me!

3. My 4th steroid shot hurt worse than all the others put together. I hope that was my last one.

4. I have the best nurses here. They are so very friendly and helpful. I couldn't ask for better care from them.

5. The high risk doctor almost sent me home without fully reviewing the ultrasound. It was the tech who had to say that they should watch the screen longer, then eventually all the scary stuff showed up. In the beginning, Zoey's head was in the way so they couldn't clearly see what was really going on and everything looked "normal." This annoys me. The fact that a tech had to be the one to tell the doctor they should watch longer bothers me. The doctor seemed very quick to want to just send me home with the risk of my water breaking and having to come right back in another ambulance. I told my OB about this and she is going to talk to this high risk doctor and find out what the heck is going on. I really wish I was just in my OB's care.

6. Good news: I may only have to stay here another 3.5 weeks instead of 6 if I can make it to 34 weeks to delivery! AND my OB can deliver me if that happens... this makes me so happy.

I'm determined to do whatever I can for this baby to make it into the world safely. The high risk doctor basically asked me what I wanted to do... strict bed rest at home or stay here. Of course I want to be home, but is that the safest thing? What happens if my water breaks at home? I have to call an ambulance and make sure they don't take me to North Crest. What a pain. Seriously, I know I'm safer here. I don't want to be here, but the baby comes first, not my wants. After the ultrasound she did feel I needed to be watched over the weekend and we'll see what happens. So I may get to go home, we'll see. Maybe if things stabilize... and then I would just have to come back for weekly ultrasounds like before... but I'm not counting on it.

I just want my baby girl to get here safely. I worked too hard just to get her in my uterus in the first place and I'm going to do whatever I have to do to get her into the world safely.

Admitted.

2010-02-17T22:10:00.003-06:00

It's true. I'm admitted to the hospital for up to 6 weeks. What was that? Admitted?? Yes. I went to my OB appointment today for the usual ultrasound, cervical check... you know, the works. Zoey is strong, passed her biophysical profile with flying colors... but then we go to do the trans-vaginal ultrasound. The tech asks if I've had sex lately or exercised... I tell her no. I know the risks. So no, I haven't. She says, "You have two placentas... did you have twins?" No... read my chart. It explains it all... Then she leaves.

In comes my OB and her nurse. They tell me I have to go in an ambulance to Centennial Women's Hospital because the high risk dr I saw before is there and my care has to be handed over. I immediately broke into hysterics. An ambulance? Is that really necessary??

So what is the real problem? I've started to dilate and my pesky membrane is migrating into my cervix. WHAT? How far am I dilated? They couldn't measure that... apparently the ultrasound showed it but it was too dangerous to actually measure... so I have no idea what is going on downstairs. The ambulance ride was fine... the guys in the back were very nice and helpful and comforting. So now here I am... room 6223. Taking visitors.

Glenn is going to bring me things to do and my own clothes as we go along. They told me tomorrow I can wear my own so I intend on it... 6 weeks here?? Really? That doesn't seem like a reality. I got a steroid shot (again) and will get another one tomorrow. So that's 2 rounds of steroids... I feel confident that even if she is born soon, she'll be fine. The goal is to make it to 33 weeks... so 3 weeks to go... then we'll see what happens.

I'm hooking a Wii up in this joint aaaaand getting my Cricut Expression dropped off. I'm going to miss my furbabies soooo bad :( That makes me incredibly sad. But I'd do this all over again... Zoey is worth it and I couldn't ask for better care. So far everyone at this hospital has been wonderful. I am sad I had to give up my OB... you all know I love her. But she said she is going to visit me and bring me books! :) I can't wait...

6 weeks to go...

2010-02-12T15:40:00.003-06:00

I have 6 weeks to go until Zoey is here. As you can imagine, my to-do list is getting long enough for it's own zip code and I worry I'm going to forget to do something before it's time to go to the hospital. I know all moms go through this as they approach the big day and begin their nesting, but those of you who know me... and I mean really know me... know that I'm overly OCD about planning things and getting them done.

I'm down to weekly appointments that include both abdominal and vaginal ultrasounds to check on Alberto and my cervix. I was lucky enough to kiss the high risk dr goodbye and keep my care solely in my OB's hands. I had to ask for it though... luckily, they agreed. I wasn't interested in going to 2 appointments a week for the rest of this pregnancy when my OB is perfectly capable of sending ultrasound images to the high risk clinic if necessary. So we worked it out. Yay me :)

Zoey moves a lot more since we got the first pair of steroid shots... it's like they dosed her up with caffeine. She apparently thinks she's a musician and has taken to my ribs as a xylophone. I'm trying to cut a deal with her and offer a new pair of bongos for her birthday if she'll chill out for the next 6 weeks but I'm not sure she's buying... the second set of shots will be the week of her eviction and I don't look forward to them. They hurt going in and it burns, burns, burns after they take the needle out and the steroids "settle."

It's okay though. I'm thankful to even be in this weirdo situation... I'm just waiting for someone to offer me some money to put this case of vasa previa in the medical journals... seriously, don't I deserve that much?? I should copyright Alberto before it's too late!!!!!!!!

Save The Date, thanks to ALBERTO

2010-02-09T11:15:00.004-06:00

March 26 is Zoey's scheduled c-section. But first, to bring some of you up-to-speed...

While in Mesa, AZ for work last week, I got a call from my OB saying that after reviewing report #2 from the high risk Dr, she's worried about my cervix thinning too quickly. It went from a 3.2 to a 2.6 in just 7 days. 2.5 usually means bed rest... she talked to me about the possibility of hospital bed rest in Nashville if things don't slow down. Luckily, yesterday I was a 2.5 but she just banned me from house work instead of bed rest, but I'm not out of the clear yet.

I had steroid shot #1 yesterday, in the hip (ouch!!!!) and was hooked up to a fetal monitor for about 30 minutes. Zoey is scoring 8/8 in health, so she is thriving... she's still measuring 4 days ahead in growth, too... so technically, my c-section is at 35 weeks, but according to her growth, she'll be right at 36. The vessel is massive, I've gotten a good look at it on the ultrasound and I feel like that thing needs a name. I'm calling it Alberto. After having Fat Albert ((a) since it's a girl) for a follie the month I got pregnant, I think Alberto is a good evil twin name. Alberta and Alberto... how sweet. Not.

So after having a rough time getting pregnant and a rare complication known as vasa previa, I don't think I'll be trying for a 2nd baby anytime soon. I thought I wanted them close together, but all this high risk stuff has me in the "fear fence" right now. I'm sure my next pregnancy will be nothing like this one, but just in case... I don't know if I can chance it in the near future. I hope that after Zoey's arrival, I can keep the PCOS under control with some birth control pills. Only time will tell...

In the meantime, I have a lot to finish up before March 26!!

Nursery Progression... plus, I need your help!

2010-01-31T15:12:00.004-06:00

We've been working feverishly in the nursery as we anticipate Zoey's upcoming debut... everything is coming together fabulously, but now it's time for me to get my creative bones crankin'... the Cricut is about to be worked harder than ever as I start cutting out flowers to hang from the ceiling and vinyl words to stick on the walls... as you can see, we've done a lot already:I've ordered this light switch cover off Etsy because it goes absolutely perfectly with the bedroom colors (I did not do the outlet covers because when she's mobile I don't want her attracted to the outlets!)...
Now I need a little help! I've been looking for a really cute lamp shade cover, that's obviously different and fun, to go in her room. I prefer Etsy because... well... no offense but I don't want her room to look like everyone else's... if you couldn't already tell from the nursery decor I picked out. I found two on Etsy that I like a lot and I'm not sure which will look best... both are colorful and would fit the bedroom's fun ambiance, but I just don't know which will be the best, ya know? What do you think?
I'm leaning towards the 1st one (I'd ask for green ribbon), but the flowers on the 2nd would look great, too... I'm just not sure if the owls are a bit much. I love all the different trees on the 1st one. Let's take a poll... what do you think???

The Medical Myster Tour [is coming to take you away]

2010-01-26T21:45:00.006-06:00

What started out as Placenta Previa has now been labeled a "Medical Mystery" by my high risk doctor. In my 2nd trimester, this is what my situation looked like (right):

Now... take that placenta and split it in TWO pieces, held together by a blood vessel covering the cervix... a little placenta here, a little there... and wallah! Vasa Previa! However... for some reason, I have an unnamed form of vasa previa... in fact, it's only being called vasa previa because no known name exists. Whaaaaaaaat?!

I can't even begin to explain what all has happened, but basically the placenta is in 2 different places and held together by this oddball vessel that isn't behaving normally. I don't get it... the doctor was puzzled, the ultrasound tech was puzzled, my OB is puzzled... I was told this case is "going in the books." Something about that stupid vessel isn't right. So while the case is still treated, in the end, with a c-section, I'm now having to be monitored even closer than anticipated.

I have to go back to the high risk clinic every week, plus normal visits with my own OB. This is going to be a long 10 weeks... it's expected I'll deliver via c-section at 37 weeks. My next ultrasound at the high risk clinic is on Tuesday. I don't know what to say... I'm so glad I'll get to see Zoey every single week up to her birth, but I'm not so excited about being labeled a "medical mystery." Apparently a 3rd doctor is going to have his go at my case on Tuesday. Sheesh. After all this, I wish they'd offer to pay my medical bills in exchange for "studying" me. I'm so glad I can amuse them because quite frankly, I'm not amused at all. I heard more curse words fly out of the high risk doctor's mouth than I could count on one hand... seriously... he was that confused... and so was I.

So as I enter the third and final trimester of my pregnancy, I guess I can honestly say the real fun is about to begin... I've already had several ultrasounds this pregnancy and it's looking like I'll get about 10 more. Exciting and scary at the same time. Good news: Zoey is healthy! That's all that matters, right?

Dear Placenta, you're hearby GROUNDED.

2010-01-19T14:42:00.002-06:00

I think I like how Amanda put it the best... "so sorry your placenta's being a jerk." Yeah, that's right placenta... you're a big jerk.

It looks like my placenta hasn't moved a single bit. It's still completely covering the cervix... not just a little bit... I'm talking completely downtown, going from front to back. This means that my dream of letting Zoey come on her birthday instead of her "due date" is a thing of the past.

When my OB was telling me this, I was fighting back tears. I asked her if there was still a chance at all that I could deliver normally and she said it's highly unlikely. Next Tuesday, January 26, I have to go see a high-risk doctor to get the final confirmation that I will have to get a c-section. My OB assured me that she is not passing me on to a new doctor, she is simply sending me to an expert to confirm what she thinks is going to happen. I was told that it's imperative that I do not dilate past a 2. If I bleed at all, even a little bit, I have to go to Vanderbilt hospital and I will be put on bedrest. She told me under NO circumstances can I go to the local hospital because they do not have the blood supply needed. So IF this happens, we're off to Vandy. The c-section will happen between 36-38 weeks, depending on how I'm progressing... if I'm not dilating on my own, I can go longer (which is my hope), but if I do dilate, we have to do the c-section ASAP and stop labor. I was told I'll have to get steroid shots to make sure Zoey's lungs are developed before the c-section... as long as we can control when it happens.

I'm thankful that my daughter is healthy... today she measured at 27 weeks and is 2lbs, 6 oz. all 4 of her heart valves looked beautiful on the ultrasound... both her kidneys are functioning properly and she is inhaling as she should... we were able to see her actually inhale amniotic fluid and see up her little nose, LOL. She was a cutie.

The bright side of all this is I will get to see my daughter a lot more... I'll have more ultrasounds than I'll know what to do with from here on out... as if I haven't already had enough. Now to await the glucose tolerance test results........

100 days to go...

2010-01-15T15:13:00.006-06:00

There are only 100 days left in my first pregnancy. When people ask when the baby is due, I always say "the end of April, which means early May." However, the fact that my ticker says I only have 100 days left is putting me into nesting overdrive! 100 days left and so far this is where I stand:

Weight Gain: 27 lbs. This means I've outgrown nearly all the maternity clothes given to me and finally had to purchase some of my own in my 25th week. All the clothes given to me were previously worn by a mother who gained 33 lbs in her first pregnancy and 27 in her second... this is why I'm busting out of them so soon. Holy moly. Thank goodness another friend brought me some clothes today :) They should help get me through the next 3.5 months.

Stretch marks: I never thought about stretch marks taking over my inner thighs, but alas, there is a colony marching up and down my legs. This baffles me. I knew they crawled up the boobs and belly, but legs? I've always had a few on my legs from growing a little too fast as a kid... but now they are ALL OVER THE PLACE. It seemed to happen overnight. I'm not even going to try to do something about them right now. As for my belly, I do have a couple starting at the bottom. This is because I have become horribly lazy when it comes to applying my magic lotion. My fault. Oh well. What's a girl to do?

The Nursery: Zoey's room decor + bedding came in on January 12 and it's above and beyond what it looked like on the internet. It's brighter and just completely warms my heart. Today, the paint colors were picked out. We're going with a light yellow and a green accent wall. Operation Nursery will begin shortly... I'm hoping on the 23rd. I'm itching to actually open her furniture and get it set up. I'm ready to take all the gifts from my first shower out of the gift bags and put them in their places. I'm ready to walk into her nursery and feel extra anticipation for her arrival as I watch everything come together...

Pains: Zoey is consistently sitting on my sciatic nerve, and lately it feels like she's literally dancing on it. I feel like a foot is going to fall through my cervix any second now. She's obviously moved into a foot-down position. It's the weirdest feeling and I'm ready for her to correct herself. All her movement is downtown and I don't like how it feels. I wonder what she is thinking right now... is she more comfortable? Mommy sure isn't.

I can't believe I'm less than 3 weeks from my 3rd trimester and just 3.5 months from giving birth. It seems like just yesterday I saw those 2 pink lines in the bathroom at work. Tuesday, January 19, is the glucose tolerance test and another ultrasound to check on the placenta previa. With as much downtown action going on, surely the placenta has moved into it's proper place... only time will tell.

The next 100 days are going to include a lot of preparation and OCD-ness. I look forward to seeing what happens...

2010 Promises

2009-12-30T21:28:00.006-06:00

I decided that for 2010, I was going to make promises, not resolutions. Resolutions would make sense if I needed to plan out some changes in my life, but 2010 is a different situation... 2010 brings motherhood, a change that I can only anticipate but not really know 100% what it's going to be like. Instead, I'm going to make promises of behavior and living, revolving around Zoey, for 2010.

1. I promise to let Zoey make her debut on her birth date, not her due date. I've never been a fan of induction or scheduled c-sections, unless one of two things happens... one, the baby is incredibly stubborn and late (Emily)... two, medical reasons that are otherwise uncontrollable. I hope and pray that I don't need the medical community to control my delivery. I hope my water breaks on its own, even if it's at work... in fact, that would be quite funny and perfect because work is a lot closer to the hospital than my house!

2. I promise to raise Zoey in diversity. She will be introduced to all kinds of people, music, and foods. I want her to be open and loving to all kinds of people. I've always told Glenn that if I ever find out she has bullied someone, she will get the reprimand of her life. I will not stand for my child to pick on someone for being different. She's going to learn to embrace all kinds of people. I hope she is an open eater, and we plan to introduce her to international flavors as young as we possibly can. I don't want to end up having a child who will only eat chicken nuggets and mac & cheese... that can't be healthy. I know I can only control so much of that as we all have different taste buds, but I am going to teach her to try things instead of turning her nose up. They say that at this point in my pregnancy, she can actually taste what I am eating so I hope she is enjoying these foods I'm stuffing my face with and not grimacing in there...

3. I promise to work with Zoey and to teach her things myself at a young age. I've seen children who can recognize many letters of the alphabet before they are 18 months old. I've seen 3.5 year olds who don't know what the color red is. I'm going to try to teach Zoey myself and work with her so she's on the advanced side of things. Education starts as early as the parent takes the time to start it... I'm not going to expect her to read by age 2, but I'm going to set time aside for her so she can get the early education she deserves. I'm going to make it fun and rewarding for her as well. She'll get to live 8 months of her life in 2010, and I hope that by this time next year I can honestly say she's learned something of value, haha.

4. I promise to lose all the baby weight and then some before New Years Eve 2011. This shouldn't be too difficult considering I'm motivated enough to want to have the energy she deserves from her mother. I plan on nursing, which helps significantly. Before I got pregnant, I would have loved to of lost the 15 extra pounds PCOS put on me... between the hormone imbalances and the medications, I gained weight faster than I knew what was happening. Even though I doubt I'll go back to ovulating on my own after Zoey's arrival, I'm going to control my hormone levels with the lowest birth control possible. There are some available for nursing mothers and I'll go on one to keep the cysts at bay and the hormones in check. This will help with the weight loss. Depending on where things go, I'll go back on Metformin... we'll see. All in all, I promise to be active for her. Even if she's born in early May, it should not be too difficult to drop all the weight I need to before the next New Years Eve. Zoey deserves a healthy, fit, and active mother to keep up with her and play with her. I'm determined to do this for her!

I'll start there. I'm not very interested in getting over my head in promises, but I think these are manageable in 2010. I hope you all have a Happy New Year and that 2010 brings more joy and happiness than you could even begin to fathom.

Favorite Products

2009-12-29T17:12:00.002-06:00

Remember this post from back in June? I've decided to add to it (with a few links!), and in fact change my stance on one product in particular. As Glenn and I have grown more comfortably in the new house, we have learned a lot about particular products we like and don't like. It's isn't all necessarily about generics v/s name brands, although I have learned a little more about my preferences when it comes to both. There are certain things I just really like. At first glace it looks like this is mostly about cleaning products, but that isn't so. There is so much more to it :) Here are 6 things on my mind right now...

1. Dish Soap. In my old post, I mentioned how I quit buying Dawn once they stopped promoting their Saving Wildlife campaign... I figured since it really wasn't any better than brand X when it comes to cleaning my dishes, I should just stick with cheap if they were no longer supporting a good cause. I'm telling you, Dawn must have internet snoopers because it wasn't but a few weeks after my post, they started posting their Saving Wildlife campaign again... so guess what is sitting on my kitchen sink? Dawn with a cute little ducky on the front. ;) How can you resist those adorable little creatures?

2. Swiffer Pads. Since the upstairs of my home is now 90% hard floor, the Swiffer comes in handy quite a bit. We have the old fashioned one that you use disposable pads on and it works great. However, I have noticed that the Swiffer brand of wet pads is awful. They are too wet and drip all over the place. I have found that I actually prefer Kroger's Everyday Living brand of the Swiffer pads and they are half price. They smell the same, work the same, but aren't as messy. They seem to clean the floor a lot better. Who would have thought?! I am sure they are made in the same place and even the same way, but for some reason the store brand is so much better... they are around $2.30 for a box, whereas the Swiffer brand are $4.50 for a box. Same quantity.

3. Draino. This is in the same exact boat as the above post. I have found that the Everyday Living brand of brain opener is just as effective as Draino... it's so much cheaper and it does the trick very nicely. I cannot justify spending so much money on Draino brand when I can get the perfect-sized bottle of the store brand for less than $3. Half a bottle takes care of the job until you need it again... it's great at knocking out the hairballs in the bottom of your sink!

4. Green Works. These cleaning products are better for your home environment, smell wonderful, and clean really well! I'm typically a generics girl when it comes to most cleaning products, but I happened to have a coupon for $1 off a bottle of Green Works cleaner, plus it was on sale at Kroger... so after it was all said and done, I got it for $0.80. After using it once, I have decided that I will purchase it again, with or without the sales and coupons. I love this stuff!

5. Ollo Olive Oil. This Australian olive oil is absolutely wonderful. I've been buying the Mild & Mellow one for about a year now. I never knew there was a big difference in oil brands, I just happened to buy this one day because it was on sale and I thought the bottle was nice. I find that it's on sale quite often... perhaps not enough people are buying it. Either way, I love this oil. It's smoother than most and has a nice fragrance and flavor. I haven't tried the Fresh & Fruity one yet because I figure I won't use it nearly as often. Maybe once I get over this "I hate seafood" phase in my pregnancy, I'll try it out because it sounds like it'll be delicious on fish. The website describes both as such:
--Mild & Mellow: "Mild & Mellow is a delicate, delightfully sweet and soft oil blended with ripe later season black olives. It yields subtle olive flavors with buttery texture and aromas to complement any dish--particularly pasta and vegetable dishes. It is 100% natural and not infused."
--Fresh & Fruity: "Award winning Fresh & Fruity is blended from early harvest green olives that produce an oil with rich and distinct fruity olive flavors, fresh grassy aromas and a delicate peppery finish. Fresh & Fruity adds life to green salads, grilled seafood, shellfish, meat and poultry dishes. It is 100% natural and not infused."

6. Bath & Body Works Antibacterial Foaming Hand Soap. I love this soap! I got tired of hand soaps drying out my hands. I started to feel like an old woman. I took advantage of the B&BW 3/$10 hand soaps sale and I'm so glad I did. This is a sale they do quite often. My two favorite scents are in the kitchen... Fresh Lime Basil and Gourmet Spice. They smell wonderful, keep your skin soft, and fight off all that nasty bacteria floating around right now. The foaming soap is better than the one with the little beads in it when it comes to moisturizing your hands, to stick to the foam!

2 Christmas Recipes: Biscotti & Donuts

2009-12-24T13:57:00.011-06:00

I decided to share two wonderful recipes I have made for Christmas. The biscotti I made for a Christmas eve treat and everyone loved it. It tasted wonderful dipped in coffee or hot chocolate. The donuts I made Christmas morning for breakfast. When I was a child, my grandmother used to make donuts on Christmas morning and dip them in white sugar. It was a great, basic way to enjoy home made donuts. Now, I have a new way and I have to admit, I do like it a lot better. I plan to make these every Christmas morning for Zoey as a tradition.

Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Chip Biscotti

Ingredients
2 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 c. white sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. pumpkin spice
4 tbsp. butter, thinly sliced
3 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 c. mini chocolate chips
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl, mix flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and pumpkin pie spice. Using your hands, mix and work in butter until mixture resembles fine crumbs.

2. Spoon 1 tbsp beaten eggs into cup; reserve. Add chocolate chips, vanilla, and remaining beaten eggs to flour mixture; stir until evenly moistened. With hand, knead mixture a few times in bowl until dough forms.

3. On floured surface, with floured hands, divide dough in half. Shape each half into a log; flat on the bottom, rounded over the top. Place logs on a cookie sheet. With pastry brush, brush tops and sides of logs with reserved egg. Bake logs 30-45 minutes. Bake time depends on thickness of logs. Cool logs on cookie sheet on wire rack 10 minutes.

4. Place logs on cutting board. With serrated knife, cut warm log crosswise into 1/2-inch-thick diagonal slices. Place slices upright, 1/4 inch apart, on cookie sheet(s). Bake slices 15 minutes to allow biscotti to dry out. Cool completely on sheets on wire racks. (Biscotti will harden as they cool.) Store biscotti in tightly covered container. Enjoy dipped in coffee :)

Chocolate Glazed Donuts
Ingredients

2 cans large buttermilk biscuits
Peanut oil
Cinnamon sugar
1 c. powdered sugar
3 tbsp. milk
1/4 c. cocoa powder

Directions
1. Heat 2 inches peanut oil in a large pot to 350 degrees F. (I didn't have a way to test the temp, so I heated the oil on medium heat and put a donut in to test how fast it cooked. I adjusted the temp from there)

2. Set the cinnamon sugar on a small plate or in a shallow bowl and set aside.

3. In a small bowl, whisk together the powdered sugar, cocoa powder, and milk. Set aside. This is the chocolate glaze.

4. Lay out the biscuits on a cutting board and with a small round cookie or biscuit cutter (or a film canister works perfectly!), cut out a hole from the middle of each biscuit. Fry them in the oil until golden and then flip with tongs to fry the other side. You can even fry the donut holes. Adjust the temp as needed so the donuts don't fry too quickly and burn.

5. Drain on paper towels, then toss in the cinnamon sugar and ice with the chocolate glaze. If you want to add sprinkles, do it right away because one the glaze sets, the sprinkles won't stick. I did half with the icing and half with just the cinnamon sugar.

Zoey's Nursery -- Love Bird

2009-12-21T15:05:00.001-06:00

http://www.bananafishinc.com/
Coming Soon!

Zoey's Nursery -- CSNBaby.com

2009-12-18T22:09:00.005-06:00

Well folks, I didn't expect to say this until well after New Years... but Glenn and I have purchased Zoey's nursery furniture and we saved so much money, I can't even fathom it yet. The 4-in-one convertible cribs we had been looking at at Babies-R-Us are roughly $400-500 alone. That is just the crib... no mattress, no railing for the toddler bed... just the crib. The choices were sparse and we had "settled" on one we liked, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking about this website I had come across before I even got pregnant. This site is a lot like Overstock.com... tons of nursery items for a fraction of the cost, but limited stock. I had been browsing back and forth over the past few weeks, looking at different sets and keeping in mind that I could purchase a set of two nursery items for the price of one crib at BRU.

Tonight, at random, I was browsing the website and noticed that
1. Some of the nursery sets came with a FREE mattress
2. The website offered an additional 10% off the order if placed before New Years
3. FREE shipping
4. NO taxes.
I got to looking at the prices, and I just couldn't believe what I was passing up if I didn't order. I turned to Glenn and told him what I was seeing... I was told to order it. I didn't think twice!

So after it was all said and done, for $529.13, we were able to get this set:

http://www.csnbaby.com/DaVinci-K5101F-K5152F-DV1612.html

...including the free mattress and conversion rail kit so when Zoey is becoming a "big girl" (God, please slow down the hands of time) she has a toddler bed to crawl into. I'm so excited about the lifetime bed... we're going to save so much money because she will be able to grow up with it. It eventually turns into a full-size bed! Seriously!

We decided to skip on the big dresser because neither of us are "dresser" people. The hutch that comes with the crib is a changing table on top, but it will also be a good shelf later on, it won't permanently look like a changing table. It has shelves on the inside, so I can put some cute bins in there for socks, onesies, etc. This leaves more open space in the room for other things.

What gets me the most is that our baby girl is going to have a headboard and footboard before we do. *ahem* I think it's almost time for mommy and daddy to get with it and buy a headboard from Overstock.com at least.

Overcoming PCOS: A Photo Session with Jennifer Adams

2009-12-15T10:10:00.004-06:00

Last weekend, a photographer I go to church with offered to do a unique maternity photo session centered around the PCOS awareness jewelry I blogged about earlier this year. Jennifer did a wonderful job and was so much fun to work with. You can follow her photography journey here: Jennifer Adams Reflections.

This is the intro posted on her blog:

It was such an honor to be apart of this growing families life, and to be there through some of their times of going through these obstacles. Mom to be was so excited to start adding to her beautiful family, but soon found out that it was going to be a little longer and harder than she thought. She soon found out that she had a condition called, PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). After finding an amazing doctor and having a wonderful support system from her family, friends and church family, she stayed strong and embraced this full force.

Well fast forward to now, she has over come PCOS and is now happily expecting her first miracle, expecting a girl in spring of 2010. So this session was a special session to celebrate the bravery and faith in overcoming this and being able to move forward with this beautiful miracle showing that all things are indeed possible!

Thank you mom and dad to be for allowing me to document these moments in your life, here is a little sneak peak and I will talk to you soon…

Zoey Elizabeth

2009-12-09T10:48:00.007-06:00

Obviously I have a lot to share with you all. :) My 18 week ultrasound revealed that I have a healthy little girl growing in my uterus. It's hard to believe that between then and now she's grown to be from the size of a sweet potato to the size of a cantaloupe. Where does she even have room to grow?! I know that with her growth, I'm starting to feel her more more often. I noticed that the stronger movement is at the top of my belly and now I know why.

Placenta Previa. It sounds a lot scarier than it is, but basically, the placenta is at the bottom of my uterus, covering the cervix. You cannot deliver the placenta first. So either it has to move, or I'll end up having a c-section, which I don't want. Usually it moves, so I'll just get a few more ultrasounds to check for the movement. That is the good part. :) So anyway, the reason her movement isn't as strong at the bottom is because of the extra padding. I do feel her a lot more, but Glenn won't be able to for a while... hopefully that will change soon. I think he's itching to be more involved in the pregnancy and experience our baby girl.

My sciatic nerve pain has finally gotten easier! If it wasn't for that cuddle pillow, I'd be in some major trouble. I've just been extra careful lately, and I honestly don't have a choice because the belly is getting bigger and harder... which means it's more difficult to move around. Standing up is already a task... I worry and hope I don't end up gaining 70 lbs like my mom did with me... so far I'm at 21. My goal was to keep it below 40... I have a feeling I'll say goodbye to that goal soon.

Stretch marks? Not a single one. :) I hope I'm not speaking too soon... but I'm always on the lookout for the creepy crawlies, just waiting for one to show it's ugly face. I lotion up regularly and remind myself to stay hydrated and that I have good genes. Mom never had any, so maybe I won't either. :)

I'm ecstatic that we have a daughter on the way. I would have been just as ecstatic if it was a boy though. I'm more happy that I finally have something to plan for... up to now we haven't actually purchased a single thing for the baby. I'm approaching my first baby shower (December 19) and we're all registered at Babies R Us. We'll register at Target sometime soon... my next shower isn't until early March. We're very excited and as soon as the holidays are behind us, we're going to start on her nursery... I can't wait to show you guys what we have planned. She's going to have the coolest chick pad in Robertson County.

Say "HI!" to Zoey Elizabeth...

Learning to take it easy...

2009-12-03T12:42:00.004-06:00

This is not easy for me. Taking it easy feels like pure laziness to me and so far I haven't done any of it. I've always been told that when pregnant you can't lift heavy things and you can't do as much as you once could because your body is more prone to sciatic nerve pain, among other things. Lately, I haven't been able to so much as wrap a Christmas gift or swiffer my floor without feeling like someone stuck a paring knife in my lower spine. The heaviest thing I've lifted lately is a 2 year old at church. I at least pay attention to what I lift... but just living every day life... I had no idea how many hings can cause back pain.

I recently purchased a cuddle pillow to help with such pains when trying to sleep at night. Overall, it works great. Last night, however... I think I finally did myself in. I sat in the floor and literally wrapped two... yes, two presents... I got up off the floor and with every step I took, I felt like I was going to collapse. So I lost a lot of sleep last night... and today I'm not any better. I am wearing a sticky heating pad to help, but I feel like I need to wrap my butt and legs in one just so I can function. To add to the nerve pain, I have a large cyst on my right ovary that is giving me more trouble than I could have imagined. I guess even in pregnancy, PCOS never ends...

I don't want to come off as complaining because I am very thankful that I even have a baby growing inside me to cause all this pain. I'll take it! It's just hard. I'm used to doing a lot, not sitting around. I thought it'd be easy to relax, but I'm too stir crazy and OCD. Now that I am approaching the half-way mark in the pregnancy, it's time to slow down a little. I admit it. I've done a few things I shouldn't have since being pregnant... the biggest no-no recently was when I ran out of the house (yes, ran) down the street after the dogs when they ninja'd their way out of the fence again. I wrestled them one-by-one back to the house... try being 5'1" and 5 months pregnant wrestling a 102 lb Great Pyrenees back to your house... when there are other dogs around distracting him from behaving... it's not easy. It was a bad move. Very bad move. I won't be doing it again.

I'm learning to take it easy and I hope I have learned my lesson enough to just stop trying to do everything like normal. We'll see...

Movie Review -> A Christmas Carol (3D)

2009-11-23T11:32:00.002-06:00

Glenn and I went to see this movie on November 21 for a little date night. We spent $30 on two IMAX 3D tickets. I'm not sure it was worth spending the extra to see it in IMAX, but definitely in worth it in 3D. Normal theatres are playing it in 3D as well, so I'd say if you're interested in seeing it, just go see it in a normal theatre and save a couple dollars... you still get the 3D effect.

The movie sticks to the typical storyline that we're all familiar with, so really this film is all about the visuals, which really are spectacular. I think critics are being a little harsh on this film. It doesn't stray from the story line, and the point is made that a change is happening in Scrooge with each ghosts' visit. I don't see how it can get any more in depth than that. The only critique I agree with is very minor... it was pointed out that in the end when Scrooge buys the needy family the prize turkey, you never get to see the family's reaction. Not that big of a deal and definitely not really worth complaining about.

As far as whether or not you should bring your children... limit it to 12 and above. There are a few scenes that are quite creepy. As an adult, I loved it. One ghost reminds me of a scene from the movie Ichi the Killer. NOT for kids. I don't think small children will really follow how the story is told either. There are some discussions that adults understand, but an 8 year old will get stir crazy. I think adults will thoroughly enjoy this more than children overall. I know some kids behind us were scared of a few scenes and some moms left crying.

There isn't much more I can say... if you want to see a visually stunning movie without having to think of the storyline, go see it. You all know the story. Sit back and enjoy. :)

I give this movie 4 out of 5 stars.

My Kitties, My Loves

2009-11-20T15:22:00.003-06:00

So, I just realized that I never have really blogged about my cats. I know that may not be very important to some people, but my cats (mostly Vesta) have been around before the dogs and before this onion growing in my uterus. My cats are full of character and are very much like children to me. Not that my dogs aren't, but my kitties hold a different place in my heart. Especially Vesta.

Countess Vesta: Munchkin Tabby, 5 years old

Vesta was a stray I picked up, not knowing if it was even going to work out. I remember the moment I stepped out of my car at the church office and she ran up to me with her stumpy little legs and round face, meowing and purring, just begging to be brought inside... I went in and asked who this adorable being belonged to. Turned out, she had been dumped off and the church was just feeding her for now. She needed a home. My heart was broken... she had obviously been abused... her head was partially shaved, kind of like a mohawk, and she didn't look healthy at all. My heart ached... but I knew I had to take her to the vet right away to make sure she didn't have feline leukemia or HIV... she didn't have either, but she did have really bad dysentery, was knocked up (which the vet didn't tell me), and was missing a lot of teeth from her life on the street.

$200 later I knew I had to keep her... she was too precious. She was 1 year old. I took her to a low-cost cat clinic to be spayed and told them to call me if she is pregnant because I want to keep the kittens and find them homes. I went home, got a large box ready just in case, and anticipated the call. Later that afternoon they called to tell me they aborted the kittens. WHAT?! They also made me pay extra for that process. I was ticked. Needless to say, I never used them for anything again, even if they were cheaper than most places... $11 for vaccines and $30 for spaying... but in the end I paid a good $20 extra for their abortion. Yes I was in college and no I didn't really need to deal with kittens, but so what? They deserved to live... either way, Vesta healed well and ended up being healthy after a few months and is the sweetest cat in the world. To this day, she is my little side kick! Everyone praises her adorable facial expressions and her sweetness.

Yumiko (Yumi): Maine Coon, 3 years old

After having just Vesta for a while, I decided she needed a friend, but I wasn't exactly sure when to get her one. She was so perfect, it was going to be difficult to find another well-behaved cat such as herself. That is when someone asked my pastor if he knew of anyone that would be interested in adopting this cat. Yumi was 1 year old and unnamed at the time. I decided I'd give her a try for a week and see how things panned out. Yumi came home very sweet. Vesta showed her jealous side and wasn't too excited about this new friend coming into her home. She acted out for a few days and I anticipated coming home to a blood bath every day after work... but luckily, that never happened. They learned to keep their space for a few days and before we knew it, they were best friends.

Today, Vesta is Yumi's momma... she bathes her regularly and is great at helping us keep the mats out of her hair. Vesta always comes running when Yumi is getting reprimanded for peeing in the bathtub. Yumi is a loving cat, who enjoys a good cuddle, but she is also one that suffers from night terrors... and thus, wakes up in the middle of the night from a dead sleep and jumps sky high, claws out, trying to run away. Once she realizes everything is okay, her little heart is racing and she needs extra loving to calm down. Poor baby can't help it, but I do get highly annoyed when I wake up looking like I've been scalped because of the blood coming from my hair line.

I love my kitties... unfortunately they are in for a rude awakening when the baby comes... I know they will want to climb into the crib or pack & play. But they were here first and are family as much as anyone else, so they will still get spoiled like usual. They don't seem to comprehend that babies are people and not animals, so they do act jealous when babies come around, but they have gotten better than they used to be... they used to act almost afraid of babies... but now they just watch from a distance and sometimes sneak up for a quick sniff. I hope that the transition with the baby is a good one... I love my kitties, but I have a feeling I'll have to lay down the law big time in the beginning. Guess we'll see!

Giving Thanks

2009-11-17T14:59:00.004-06:00

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.

Psalm 107:1

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Even though it has been one of the most trying years of my life, it has been one full of many blessings. I've learned to always look at the light at the end of the tunnel, even if the light is as small as a laser pointer. There is always a light, and things could always be worse. These are some things I'm incredibly thankful for...

My husband.

I am thankful to have Glenn as a husband. He strives every day to be the man God has called him to be. He is most definitely the head of my household and I am so thankful to be blessed with a man like him. I respect him and it's easy to respect a man of God. I'm just so thankful he has chosen that path and works so hard to be the man he is meant to be.

My pets.

My pets have been my loving children and filled a void I had in my heart most of this year. We got Falkor in the spring when the PCOS diagnosis was getting worse and I didn't see much hope for me. Having a puppy helped put more joy in my heart than I could have asked for. My other pets have been wonderful, too. Yumi is the only problem child I have, but even she is one of the most loving cats I've ever seen. My pets humble me and love me unconditionally... I'm thankful to have them and to be taught the value of love through them. (Note: Falkor is now much bigger than the above photo... I'm talkin' 102 lbs at 9 months old, but he's my big baby!)

Our house.

Glenn and I worked very hard on the house all year... back in January, we didn't even have a floor! Since then we have renovated the entire upstairs and only have a few minor things left, plus the nursery. Eventually I'd like to redo the floors in the bedrooms, but that will come in time. I'm thankful that we got such an incredible deal on this house and that we can stay here for many years to come. There is room to expand and for our family to grow. We are very blessed with this house.

My Pregnancy.

It really is a miracle. I didn't exactly expect it to happen this year... the way things were looking, we were going to have to stop in October for the rest of the year, save some money, and pick up with more aggressive fertility treatment in January. Now I'm so thankful that I can say I will be 6 months pregnant in early January. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real, but now I am starting to feel a little more movement.

I'm thankful for a lot in my life, but this year these are the things that come to mind the most. I've been looking forward to being pregnant for Thanksgiving because I will get to devour more food than ever. What makes it even better is that baby will be size of a sweet potato the week of Thanksgiving. Is it morbid if I inhale 3x my body weight in sweet potatoes next week?

Dance, Baby, Dance! + My Growing Belly

2009-11-12T13:10:00.004-06:00

My little avocado baby started moving this week. I think of David Bowie in the movie The Labyrinth when he's dancing with the baby and all the goblins... yeah, I know, kind of odd, but I keep talking to the baby and telling it to dance for me so I can feel something. Tuesday, day one of 16 weeks, I started to feel a pushing sensation on the lower right side of my belly while driving home from work. I was listening to Jeremy Camp in the car. Moments later, I felt it again a little higher. I think baby is a fan. ;) I wasn't sure if it was really the baby until it happened again yesterday and today. Now I'm sure. Baby is moving in there. I can officially document fetal movement beginning at 16 weeks. :)

I've also been told that I have been a slacker on the belly pics... so here you go... enjoy!

5 weeks

10 weeks

13 weeks
15 weeks

15 week ultrasound

2009-11-04T09:06:00.003-06:00

At my 15 week appointment, we unexpectedly did an ultrasound. My OB just wanted to peek at the baby since I had been spotting again and have been sick lately... the heartbeat was in the 170s and everything looked good. We could (somewhat) clearly see the toes wiggling and everything. Since this was an external ultrasound, and I did not drink all the water I needed to prepare, things were a little fuzzy, but regardless we were able to see my little orange doing well. The heartbeat has slowed from it's once 185 beat but that is to be expected. It was in the 170s. We now have 2 reasons to believe the baby is a girl... fast heartbeat and a hamburger...
We all know that at 15 weeks, it's still an uncertainty as to whether or not the baby is a girl or a boy. But my OB clearly said, "THAT is a vagina." HA! But she did follow that with, "Well, we won't know for sure for a few more weeks." Yeah, yeah I know... but I do think my instincts have been right all along. I think I have a little Zoey in my belly. My heart was put at ease even more when I started talking to my OB about her move. This was my last appointment with her at North Crest Medical Center... my anatomy scan will be at Stone Crest Medical Center in Smyrna. That's right, I have decided 100% that I am following her to Smyrna! I feel so at ease with this decision and my heart is comforted. My OB is amazing, I cannot pass her up.
There you can somewhat see the femur bone, the shin bone, and the monstrous Wallace foot.

We're going to schedule the anatomy scan for the week of Thanksgiving. I'll be 18 weeks, and ironically the baby will be the size of a sweet potato. Go figure! I cannot schedule it for sure until she starts her new job, so on November 16 I have to call and get it all scheduled. I am so excited to find out what my little stowaway really is... a little Glenn or a Zoey.

I'm on cloud 9 right now.

Movie Review --> Where The Wild Things Are

2009-10-30T22:36:00.002-05:00

I know a lot of parents are on the fence as to whether or not it is a good idea to take their children to see this movie. In this review I am going to put some of the speculation to rest as to whether or not this movie is worth seeing in the theater by adults and children alike.

Concern #1: how scary is the movie? To be perfectly honest, while watching it, I didn't understand where this thought was coming from. As a parent-to-be, I tried to look at the movie through a parents eyes to see how comfortable I would be bringing my own child to see this movie. I have to say that any child 8 and above is old enough to see the movie. Why 8? Well, the little boy in the movie looks about that age... I think any child his age and older can relate to what he is feeling and going through. Any younger child will not understand it and will find his early behavior to be a bit confusing and chaotic. That is the only reason I would not take a small child to see it... it has nothing to do with it being scary, but the level of understanding.

Concern #2: the so-called "gore." Okay, so a monster gets its arm ripped off... if anyone really pays attention, they'll see that instead of blood coming out, sand falls out, as if it's a large stuffed animal. Remember, this is a little boy's imagination... it's not gory or gross, it's quite funny and jokes are made by the monsters after this happens. To add more comedy to the situation, the arm is replaced by a stick, which makes the audience giggle every time the monster comes on screen.

Concern #3: the boy never gets reprimanded. I think the people who are saying this don't know how to pick up on things. In the end of the movie, when the boy goes home, he does not get reprimanded by his mother for his behavior. Instead, she embraces him and feeds him... loves on him as she has been worried about him. The thing is, you can tell, very obviously, that she sees that the boy has already been through something big... he looks and seems different, as if he is a different child. The mother knows that he has learned a valuable lesson... a lesson much more valuable than her reprimands... even though she may not know what exactly has happened, she knows he has learned his lesson. You can see it in the boys eyes and her eyes as well. Many parents get upset because they feel as if the boy is being rewarded for his bad behavior. I think this is a little... okay, VERY far fetched.

This movie is a lot like watching an indie film. It doesn't follow the typical Hollywood formula, which I really liked. The music in it is unique and fits the scenes perfectly. It was visually appealing... or as Glenn put it, "It looked awesome." ;) Some people have complained of slow parts in it, but I didn't pick up on that at all... there is a lot of character building and learning in this film, and what may seem slow to some people is actually very necessary. I feel like this movie has gotten a lot of unnecessary flack from people who just don't get it. I went into the movie with very low expectations based on previous reviews I had read and came out pleasantly surprised. I think toddlers would enjoy the fuzzy monsters, but may be a little confused and shocked at how the little boy behaves in the beginning... they may even attempt to mimic him at home. In my opinion, if your child isn't old enough to comprehend what this boy is going through, then don't bother taking them to see it. If you're only worried about it being gory or scary, then you need to go see it for yourself because it's neither of those things.

Personally, I would buy this movie in a heartbeat. I give it 5 out of 5 stars.

Not my week... more spotting plus H1N1 v/s Sinus Infection

2009-10-28T21:59:00.005-05:00

I'll start with the first part. I woke up at 1:00 a.m. Monday with bright pink spotting. I didn't burst into tears this time, I stayed calm and simply reminded myself that I was not cramping and that this should lighten up. I went back to bed calm as a cucumber, saying a few prayers that everything is okay with my little lemon. 4:00 a.m. the spotting turned brown. Bingo. It also lightened up in flow quite a bit. Since then, I've spotted brown every day. No cramping. Looks like I'm going to be one of those few women who have a "mini" period every 4-5 weeks during the entire pregnancy. Not too excited about that, but hey... I'll take it as long as baby is doing okay.

I went to the family doctor today because this "cold" has gotten out of control. After 10 days on Tylenol Cold and another 4 on Zyrtec, my body has decided to go into sickness overdrive. I woke up on Tuesday morning with a sore throat. I thought it was just allergies so I still went to work. By noon I was miserable... the left side of my head hates me. The nostril is runny, the neck is swollen, the ear hurts, the tonsil feels like it's about to explode, and the sinuses above and below the eye are swollen. I came home from work early and made a doctor's appt for this morning.

My first fear was H1N1, but I haven't had a fever. I went to the doctor with the notion that it has to be a sinus infection. He decided it would be a good idea to check for H1N1... I already knew what he was going to tell me... negative. But then he sits down and starts talking to me... "Half the time this test comes out negative when it's really positive." Okay, so what's your point? I don't have a fever. "It doesn't matter with H1N1, that's the thing about this virus." Oh goody, I'm so excited to know that I could have H1N1! He proceeds to turn me into a human science experiment, and basically tucks tail and runs because I'm pregnant. He tells me to start taking Tamiflu and if I rapidly feel better, we know it was H1N1... if not, then it's a sinus infection and the antibiotic will clear it up. But he wanted me to consult with my OB first.

Okay, thanks for taking my $20 co-pay and telling me to check with my OB on what to do. Really? Why did I even bother. So I checked with my OBs office... she told me to go ahead and take both at the same time. With me being pregnant, we can't take any chances. So here I am, pumping my body full of more medicines with no idea if I have H1N1 or a sinus infection. So this puts me at a cross road... do I bother getting the H1N1 vaccine? I've had the seasonal flu vaccine... but if this really is H1N1, why get the vaccine? I'm really quite upset that I don't have a real answer as to what the heck is wrong with me. I'm spotting, I'm sick with something either viral or bacterial, and I'm 14 weeks pregnant, terrified that something is going to happen to this baby with all this crap that has been going on the last two weeks.

I hope and pray that my immune system gets its butt in gear after this and stays healthy. I worry about giving the baby too much medicine... I worry about my sickness putting a damper in the baby's health... I don't know what to do or think at this point.

I thought the 2nd trimester was supposed to be the "honeymoon period" of pregnancy....

The 2nd Trimester

2009-10-22T21:07:00.003-05:00

Well, I've made it. I'm in the 2nd trimester! This is a huge accomplishment for two reasons.

1. In my mom's side of the family, women don't carry their first pregnancies past the 1st trimester. They don't even come close. There has never been a known reason for this...

2. PCOS women are more likely to miscarry, especially their first pregnancies, than healthy women. To help with this, most of us (including me) stay on Metformin through the first 3 months to lower the risk.

With the double whammy I faced, I hoped and prayed I'd be able to make it this far. I didn't know what to expect, but came into this with as much optimism as I could. I've gotten a lot of love and support from friends and don't know what I would do without my fellow soul cysters. I really think that people don't understand just how big it is to make it to the 2nd trimester unless they have experienced loss or faced the high risk for loss. It really is a huge milestone to overcome and I can stand proudly right now, belly in tow, and say "I've made it!"

Unfortunately, I still have to be cautious... but I can be more optimistic than before and know that my chance of loss has gone down. PCOS is a terrible thing that no woman should have to face... it's downright evil. But all we can do is stand up to it, as if it's a bully in school, and tell it "no more... I may have you in me life but you don't own me!" Everytime a fellow cyster announces her pregnancy, I feel such joy, as if it's me all over again. I wait in the wings for more to come... hoping and praying for those who deserve these babies more than most.
So far, the 2nd trimester hasn't been gentle on me. I've been fighting what feels like the same headache for 10 days in a row. Tylenol is weak, so I've turned to an alternative remedy... peppermint oil. Rub this on the temples and across the forehead... within 10 minutes the headache is gone. However, this only works for headaches in the front of your head... not the ones that make you feel as if you've been hit in the back of the head by a wood plank. For those, I have to resort to Tylenol and a nap. It does the trick for a little while.

I've also had a nasty cold since week 12. Eight days now. I'm finally at the tail end of it and able to function with less tissue in my hands. Starting on day one of the 2nd trimester, my ribs hurt. It's usually in the afternoons and evenings. I've noticed a big change in my belly... it's filling out at the top, under my breasts, instead of at the bottom. This would explain the rib pain. I take it proudly, knowing this means the baby must be growing. I'm guessing I'm going to carry high... I've had people tell me both. No one really know what they are talking about, I've decided....

I anticipate the moment I feel it for the first time... what will it feel like? Gas? Popcorn? Tonight I thought I felt a rolling sensation in my belly... could have just been my stomach thanking me for dinner. My next OB appointment is on November 10... I'll be 16 weeks. I'm going to ask for my gender scan at 18 weeks... it'll be the week of Thanksgiving... and I hope to tell immediate family on that day, extended family in our Christmas cards. So bloggers, you'll have to wait until the Christmas cards go out, I'm afraid. ;) But don't worry, I'll be too excited, I'll start making them on Black Friday and put them in the mail the following Monday. Once I'm sure everyone has received theirs, I'll post... proudly!

A Cookware.com Product Review, Photos Included

2009-10-16T14:31:00.014-05:00

Dear Friends,

On October 15, I received a package in the mail from Cookware.com. My husband eagerly opened the package for me and exclaimed, "Ginsu knives?! These are really good knives!" Yes dear, I know they are. :) Neatly wrapped inside was a Ginsu knife set. Even though he's not the chef of the house, I think he takes pride in the gadgets and gizmos we collect. At first sight, we were very impressed with the knives. The bamboo block is more compact, thus taking up less counter space than our older one. Each knife is a little heavier than what I am used to, but the smooth handles make them easy to control. Unfortunately the bread knife was missing, but we hardly ever use the bread knife we already have, so we don't miss this too much. The website described the Ginsu set as such:
Several decades ago a knife was created that is to this day known as the "Sharpest Knife on the Market". It was the Ginsu knife. Ginsu knives are a symbol of ancient Japanese traditions. The Samurai sword is renowned for being sharp enough to cut through anything. Ginsu knives were created to reflect that same quality, in craftsmanship and sharpness with Japanese stainless steel that will still cut through anything. The quality of Ginsu knives is not only known and respected by consumers, but also by all other premium knife brands. Bring home the quality and sharpness of Ginsu cutlery today.

I have to admit, I'm thinking that this knife set isn't actually a genuine Ginsu set... if it was, I don't think the blade would say China on it, being that Ginsu is Japanese... I'm pretty sure Japan is more advanced than the U.S. and doesn't have everything made in China... they've got their own thing going on. Nevertheless, this set is good quality and wears the Ginsu name proudly, even if the "Japanese stainless steel" mentioned above was clearly made in China.

Every knife, except for the 7" Santoku knife, is serrated in ways I've never seen before. Perhaps I should get out more, but even Glenn was impressed with the uniqueness of the serration, if that is such a word. Instead of the jagged edge we're used to dealing with, we were surprised to see this lovely design. It looks smooth and as if it wouldn't be able to cut through a cotton ball, but I was very surprised...

October 17: The very first knife I used was the 7" serrated chef's knife. I was torn between using it and the Santoku knife, but since I already have a small 5" Santoku and know the ways of it, I decided to give the serrated chef's knife a whirl on an onion I needed to chop for some chili. I admit, I smiled when I made the first slice into the onion. It was effortless and comfortable! I cried! (okay, that was the onion's fault...)

October 18: I tested out the 5" serrated utility knife on some chicken breasts at lunch. I don't know about you, but I find it much easier to slice up chicken breast with a serrated knife. Chicken is slippery and moves all over the place, and if your straight edge knife isn't super sharp, you are in for a lot of frustration. In the past I would use my steak knives for cutting chicken for that very reason. The utility knife is lighter than the chefs knife and easy to handle. It worked great on the chicken. The serrated edge is also different from the chef's knife.... I was surprised that the serration was actually different... typically a knife set is uniform, but I like that I actually have a choice when it comes to what kind of serrated edge I want to use.

At dinner time, I put the 3.5" paring knife to the test. As mentioned above, I'm used to whipping out the steak knives on a tomato or bell pepper because my old paring knife, if not sharp enough, just pressed into the fruit/veggie leaving an ugly scar instead of a smooth slice. I need to thinly slice up some bell peppers for taco night. When making really small slices of things, I prefer using the smaller knives for better control. The paring knife in this set lived up to its larger brothers... slicing was effortless and comfortable. I don't think I've ever had so much fun cutting up a bell pepper. I found myself wishing I had some more to slice up just for the fun of it. I'm sure if I looked hard enough in my fridge and pantry, I would have found something...

October 19: At 7 in the morning I needed to slice up some veggies for a crock pot roast. I decided to give the 7" Santoku knife a whirl because I love my old 5" knife, it just wasn't as big as I needed. This morning, the 7" Santoku sliced through red potatoes like butter. I knew I was going to absolutely love this knife. I do love the serrated chef's knife and will use it a lot on certain things, but this Santoku knife is definitely top notch. Even cutting through carrots was effortless and I hate cutting carrots. This one knife definitely has my heart.

The four steak knives that come with this set are serrated the same as the 7" chef's knife, so I already know, without using them, how they will cut. Steak season is a little out right now unless I whip out the broiler pan, so these knives have not been used yet and probably won't be for a while, but their comfortable handles and weight tell me that they will work just as beautifully as big pappa chef knife. The kitchen shears are really nice as well. I have only used them to open packages so far, not meat, even though I do enjoy shearing chicken, I think I prefer using the knives on the meat. :)

Overall, I have been very impressed with this knife set, especially with such a low price tag in tact. For $43.99, this is a good Christmas gift just waiting to happen. Know a couple getting married soon? Just an idea... :)

I'm pretty sure Cookware.com will receive business from me in the future. The website features a plethora of items in every price range. After seeing the quality of these inexpensive knives, I'm more apt to purchase in the future. I hope you take some time to look at the website and even consider these knives as a gift for the upcoming holidays... I definitely am.

Just say "NO!" to stretch marks!

2009-10-14T11:04:00.002-05:00

Some people are probably laughing out loud at the thought of me facing stretch marks like a war... with strategy and a battle plan... and thinking how can I possibly beat those evil little monsters when half the time there really isn't much you can do about them. Well, well... I know stretch marks are usually hereditary, starting so deep beneath the skin that you don't even know they are there yet... and that lotion can only help keep them lighter and less scary.

I have a plan. My mom didn't get stretch marks at all, and while she attributes it to a Mary Kay lotion she used, I think we just have good genes. ;) I am going to experiment with the most moisturizing lotion I've ever used in my life. Aveeno Intense Relief Repair Cream seriously keeps my skin feeling like I just put lotion on all day long... I'm talking for at least 14 hours without reapplying it. Lately I've been covering myself in it after my morning shower and when I go to bed at night, I still feel super soft.

I first picked up a tub of this lotion when Glenn was facing some patches of eczema on his arms. This lotion took away the itch. A friend from church was facing some pretty bad eczema on her hands and it was causing a lot of pain and burning. She tried this lotion and immediately felt better. A tub of this stuff at Walmart is about $12, and it's worth every penny. A little bit goes a long way. So if you're a new preggo woman looking for a way to cast war on stretch marks, I recommend you try this stuff out. Hopefully in my 3rd trimester I'll have some proof that all is well and stretch mark free!

Intense Relief Repair CreaThis rich body cream provides intense moisturization to soothe irritated, dry skin on contact and provide significant relief in just one day. The breakthrough formula contains pure oat essence, ceramides and essential lipids found deep within the surface of the skin that play a key role in restoring the skin's protective function. Used daily, this cream can actually help repair dry, irritated skin in as little as two weeks for skin that

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

2009-10-08T12:48:00.005-05:00

Today was one of those days that I was plagued with extreme acid reflux. I'm talking about the kind I used to have back in high school when I was under a lot of stress... the kind that hurts all the way through my back. Yeah, that's right. Ever had heartburn in your back as well as your chest? It's the most painful thing ever. You feel like you can't breathe and like you need to crawl into the fetal position and just die.

I'm not exaggerating.

Today was one of those days. After eating a very salty can of Progresso Vegetable soup, I was attacked. I love this soup, even though it's horribly processed. Today it tasted even saltier than usual (which is probably why I've eaten about 15 mini snickers and twix in the last few minutes). I had about 20 minutes of comfort and "aaahhh, I feel good" after eating the soup... then it crept up on me like a ninja and attacked full force. And guess what... I had no tums... and neither did my pregnant co-worker. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

I frantically searched my purse high and low... I found an empty Rolaids tube, and in the bottom, wedged very tightly, was a chewable Pepcid Complete from my TTC days. Pepcid Complete is not cleared for pregnancy, but just one pill is magical and works wonders. I was desperate. I tried shaking the pill out... it wouldn't budge. I had to have this pill. I finally stuck a pair of scissors down in the tube and crushed the Pepcid to tiny pieces... mostly powder... I poured it into my hand and licked it clean. Within minutes, my heartburn died.

I win.

Now I need to remember to keep a bottle of Tums on my desk at work so this doesn't happen again... because I know it will.

My Kitchen Obsession + Product Review

2009-10-02T13:54:00.008-05:00

As most of you know, I have a slight obsession with the kitchen. (cue laughter) Okay, I know, it's a little more than a slight obsession, but what can I say? I love to cook, I love cooking products, and I love to collect them. I like to think of it as a healthy & useful obsession because lets face it, kitchen utensils are really useful. They do help you have a more healthy lifestyle... even though cooking may tempt us to pack on a few extra pounds. Eh, what the heck, I have a good excuse, right? Cooking helps you save money, it allows you to be picky and adventurous, and sometimes it makes your man (or in some cases woman) love you even more.

Over the past couple of years, I have expanded my cooking education by watching Rachael Ray work her magic in the kitchen, reading her cookbooks, and subscribing to her monthly magazine Everyday with Rachael Ray. I love this magazine. It has allowed me to experiment in ways I never imagined. I've learned "the ways of pasta," many adorable holiday-themed foods, and how to make "roll-over meals" for an entire week off of one basic recipe. I really hope this baby I'm carrying is an adventurous eater or I'm going to be in trouble...

One thing I've noticed about Rachael Ray is that she makes her kitchen as colorful as her personality. Seriously, even all of her Rachael Ray Cookware is colorful, which allows all of us to add a little pizazz to our kitchens. I mean, I sure love some stoneware... and she has it in colors! You have to see this, it's awesome. Pampered Chef better watch out.

I think the most important and the most fun thing I've learned from Rachael Ray is how to really appreciate and work a knife. I admit, I have a chopper at home that I use a lot when I'm in a hurry, and I'm not nearly as swift with a knife as she is, but I do enjoy chopping and slicing much more than I used to because I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I want to get better and learn more techniques (especially after watching the movie Julie and Julia).

My obsession with cutlery is fairly new, and because I'm determined to grow at this, I'm going to be doing a product review in an upcoming blog on some very affordable knives I am getting from Cookware.com. This is going to be quite awesome, indeed.

Good News & Bad News

2009-09-30T10:08:00.005-05:00

I'm going to start with the good because I don't want you all to worry about what the bad could possibly be. It's semi-baby related (okay, maybe more than I'm letting on), but the baby is fine and perfect and looking like a real person now! Yesterday's ultrasound showed that baby is no longer a little blob like it was 2 short weeks ago... it's a thriving healthy person with an alien head, two arms, and two legs. Hehe... aaaaand I can already see a cute little baby belly. I was amazed at how much my little one has changed. I noticed immediately that it looks like a gummy bear, to which I told myself I can not eat any gummy bears in this pregnancy now... it's just too weird.

Okay, the much-anticipated 10-week ultrasound pictures!

And now to share the bad news. It's bad for me. My OB is leaving North Crest. For sure. *cries* My wonderful OB is moving to Smyrna, which is an hour from me. I now have a decision ahead of me... switch OBs near the end of my pregnancy and miss my amazing OB horribly... or follow her to Smyrna for every visit and for the birth of the baby. In my mind, I think how can I let someone else deliver this miracle? THIS doctor helped me get pregnant. She was the best OB ever and saved me thousands of dollars by serving as my fertility specialist instead of sending me to the fertility clinic in Nashville. How in the world can I let one of the other two OBs in North Crest deliver this baby? I don't know if I can do that.

I'm struggling with this and literally lost sleep over it last night. I work in Nashville, which means Smyrna is only about 15 minutes from my work (on a good day)... so going to appointments won't be an issue. Delivery, however, will be... I don't know what to do. I'm sad that I have to make this decision. She told me that I was the first patient she thought of when she put in her resignation... *sigh*... she isn't 100% sure when this is happening, but it'll be the end of this year or beginning of next... I don't see her again until November 10 for my 16 week appt and I hope she has more news for me then and that I can make a sound decision. I've been told by more than one person that a good OB is too hard to come by... and if you have one that you connect with, follow them if you can.

I'll update you all later on this development... hopefully I make the right decision.

Mommy's Pancakes

2009-09-26T09:41:00.006-05:00

This morning I woke up with a hankering to bake or cook something semi-sweet and straight up homemade, from scratch, for breakfast. My first thought was my chocolate chip pumpkin spice bars, but alas, the only ingredient I was missing was the chocolate chips. I decided to think outside the box a little and to look up a basic recipe for homemade pancakes, knowing I'd rewrite part of it... but I needed a place to start. I was missing one ingredient I wanted to add, and next time I will add it... but for now, I'm writing it into the recipe. I have to admit, these pancakes were by far the best pancakes I've ever had. They were exactly what I wanted and so easy to make. I had all the ingredients on hand, as most of you probably do as well. I'm going to post the recipe template and then my changes. Behold, Mommy's Pancakes:

Old Recipe

1 egg

1 c. flour

3/4 c. milk

2 tbsp. oil

1 tbsp. sugar

3 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

My Recipe

1 egg

1 c. flour

3/4 and 1/8 c. milk

2 tbsp. oil

2 tbsp. cinnamon sugar

1 tbsp. brown sugar

3 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

2 tsp. vanilla

Mix all the dry ingredients first, then add the wet ingredients. Use a 1/4 cup to make perfect-sized pancakes. This recipes yields 7-8 pancakes. Top with butter and light karo syrup.

The ingredient I was out of was the brown sugar. I was so disappointed and quite shocked that I was actually out and had not replaced it. I think the brown sugar would add a little extra sweetness for the most perfect pancakes. You'll notice I changed the regular sugar to cinnamon sugar, added vanilla, and also an additional 1/8 c. of milk. I noticed in the original recipe that the consistency of the batter was much too thick. So I added that extra 1/8 and it made a perfect batter.

My original idea was to use the pumpkin spice mix in the batter instead of using the cinnamon sugar... but when I saw I had the cinnamon sugar on hand, I decided to go that route instead. I may, at some point, decide to give the other way a whirl. But for now, this recipe is mine, and I hope you find time to make it. I named it Mommy's Pancakes since I am becoming a mommy and it's increasingly important to find fun/easy recipes that my child will love. What kid doesn't like pancakes, anyway? (Don't answer that question.)

Our First Scare

2009-09-24T06:57:00.005-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I had quite a bit of brown spotting. When I say quite a bit, I mean enough to where I was mortified and did not have any desire to wash them... I threw them away. They were white.... I totally freaked out, cried my eyes out for a good 15 minutes, and then called the dr's office. I had always been told that brown means old and is actually okay, but this didn't look like "spotting" it looked like the end of a period. I'm telling you, those undies were ruined. The dr's office told me to go to the ER... I assured them I had no cramping and no red or clotting. They told me to go away.

I battled with this for about 2 hours (after changing into a new pair of undies with a panty liner of course). By the time Glenn got home from work, we had decided it was best to go, otherwise I wouldn't sleep at night. I was not looking forward to going in and spending hours around all those sick people only to be told that my little olive is fine. But it's better to be sure than regret it later, I say.

Went to the ER for 5 hours, and I was actually very annoyed. Even though they had "flu" people in a separate waiting area, they still had us all sit in THE SAME chair for vitals. Excuse me? A lady came in right after me throwing up into a paper cup, being totally loud, and her whole family was wearing masks. Um, yeah, I was ticked. Why can't hospitals have some common sense?! So when she came in, I literally covered my arms up to the elbows and layered my hands with hand sanitizer.

The verdict? Baby is fine. I had both external and internal ultrasounds, we saw and heard the heartbeat on both ultrasounds, which surprised me. Baby's heartbeat was up to 185. They took 5 vials of blood (again?), and by that time it was 8:00 and I was starving and irritable and let them know it. We had some Sonic brought to us and I literally had it GONE in less than 3 minutes. I was starving after they stole my blood supply. We were released from captivity at almost 9.

I'm glad we decided to just go. I have the notion to write the hospital and question their logic behind putting all those obviously sick/flu people in the same chair as a pregnant woman and children to get blood pressure checked, but then separate them into different waiting rooms? Where is the logic in that? Stupid Springfield, have some sense!

On a more positive note, baby is obviously very strong. I have another dr's appt on Tuesday and last I was told, there would be an ultrasound then as well. Just 4 more weeks until I'm out of the danger zone... it can't come soon enough.

Dear due date, I have you pegged.

2009-09-21T09:30:00.002-05:00

So, I was thinking this weekend and had an Epiphany. It was actually one of those "duh" moments. My dr and I did not discuss baby's due date at my first prenatal appt, but I have it pegged, and it's not April 25. Let me explain...

Typically when you calculate your due date online, it automatically assumes you ovulated on cycle day 14... aka mid-cycle... little do they know, we PCOSers don't ovulate on that day. Most healthy women probably don't, actually. We don't all have perfect 28-day cycles either. It's a terrible assumption. So when I made my tickers online, I inputted the date of my last period, and not thinking, assumed it was correct to say April 25 was the due date.

When I went to the dr, it was on a Tuesday... I measued at exactly 8 weeks. According to the not-so-trusty internet, I should have been 8 weeks & 2 days. Wrong. I was measuring right on time based on when I ovulated, not on the date of my last period.

Baby is due April 27, 2010. BAM!

Ginger

2009-09-17T14:39:00.004-05:00

Apparently ginger is a natural remedy to "the sickes." I beg to differ. I paid $6 for a box of anti-nausea ginger gum and I thought I was being poisoned within the first 15 seconds of chewing the gum. I don't even know if I made it that long. Even a co-worker tried the gum and let out a very loud scream. I'm not thrilled that I paid $6 for a pack of gum... I wonder if Rite Aid would take it back?

On another note, Ginger Ale is my new best friend. Yesterday between 5-9 p.m. I drank an entire liter of Ginger Ale by myself. I would fill a cup of ice to the rim, fill in some ale, drink it all down then eat all the ice and start over again. It was wonderful, refreshing, and healing. I'm in that sickie phase where I'm not throwing up at all, not really craving anything, just nauseated. Monday was the worst day to date, and since then it has been tolerable. Jolly Ranchers are also very nice to keep around. As long as I have a piece of candy or some ale in my mouth, I'm a happy little bee!

Dear God, thank you for the sickies. I'd rather be sick and with child than sick and without.

Me: "So, there's just one, right?" Dr: "No, there's three. KIDDING! HA!"

2009-09-15T16:43:00.007-05:00

So my little raspberry is doing quite well! Today, it measured at exactly 8 weeks, possibly 1 day. According to the internet I'm 8 weeks & 2 days, so we'll see. She did not confirm the due date as of yet, so we're still on for April 25.

It was the most amazing thing to see my tiny little raspberry with a very swiftly fluttering heartbeat... and then to hear it while I could see it was even more amazing. It was going strong at 180. I've been told I have an athlete on my hands. I think Fat Albert is the one to thank for this baby.

I immediately asked my dr if there was just one in there since I had 4 potential follicles for this pregnancy... she said, "No, there's three" and after a short pause, "KIDDING!" and started to laugh. I admit my heart stopped for a moment... she did tell me at the last follicle ultrasound that if I come back with triplets I can't be surprised. Haha. Luckily that isn't the case. So far, I have one super healthy baby in my uterus and I am quite pleased and feel more relaxed. My dr told me my chance of loss after hearing the heartbeat is significantly lower and that I'm on the right track. She let me know to stay on my Metformin through the rest of the 1st trimester to help things along and keep my chance of loss even lower. No problem!

Based on the super fast heartbeat and my instinct, I'm going to go ahead and predict that we're having a girl. I've been thinking I'll have a girl since before I got pregnant and felt it even more as soon as I found out about the pregnancy. The heartbeat makes me even more suspicious. I told my dr I had been checking the theory on that and she said it's not actually a theory, that it has been proven, however, early heartbeats tend to be faster. But she did say, "Girl!" Ha!

12 more weeks until we find out if we have a little Zoey or a Glenn #5 swimming in there. In the meantime, I have another dr's appt in 2 weeks for some blood draws and my dr said she'll use it as an excuse to do another ultrasound, hehe. Sounds good to me!!!

By the way, why did they take 5 (yes, 5) vials of blood from me before I left if I need to come back in 2 weeks for more? Really? I mean, come on. Leave me some blood, why don't you!!!

That's the way it's meant to be!!

2009-09-08T13:42:00.009-05:00

I don't know if you know this, but I love the band The Features. They're local to Middle TN, primarily the town I went to college in (Murfreesboro). Everyone there knows who they are. Everyone has seen a poster somewhere. Most people out there have seen them live at one point or another, whether on MTSU campus or in a local pub.

One thing for sure, I love their music, hard core. The lead singer always writes about his own experiences with his life, his wife, and his twin daughters (who are stinkin' adorable by the way!). I decided I wanted to share with you all one of my favorite songs by The Features. It's called "That's The Way It's Meant To Be" and it's his love song to his twins. I love it. It's sweet, real, and meaningful. The best part is the song delivery is straight up indie rock. You'd half expect this to be a sweet slow song based on the lyrics, but nooooo. I like the song delivery much better. If you can, look it up on iTunes. You won't be disappointed.

Little fingers!

Little toes!

Little tempers that come and go!

It's the little things that matter most

Like the monograms on your clothes

Gonna stand right by your side

wipe your nose and dry your eyes

Zip your dress and tie your shoes, there's nothing I won't do

Gonna love you 'til I die, cause I'm yours and you are mine

And that's the way it's meant to be!

Call a doctor! Call a king!

Someone to witness all the joy you bring

Oh, my love you’re such a beautiful sight

Just wanna hold you and squeeze you tight!

Gonna take you by the hand, try to make you understand

Take you everywhere I go, teach you everything I know

We can laugh until we cry, 'cause I'm yours and you are mine

And that's the way it's meant to be

One happy accident
Two little rays of light
Love is all we need

Everything is alright

Gonna tuck you in tonight

Fall asleep right by your side

Take a swift kick in the head, may you push me out of bed

Steal the cover, I don't mind, 'cause I'm yours and you are mine

And that's the way it's meant to be!

Introduction to "The Sickies"

2009-09-04T14:36:00.004-05:00

I don't exactly have morning sickness yet, but I assume it is coming. I've had a few run-ins with "the sickies" but not full-blown vomiting as of yet. For example, yesterday I happily shoved a 1/2 lb. cheese burger from Cheeseburger Charley's down my throat for lunch. When I was full and miserable, longing for a nap, one of my bosses comes and sits next to me with some baked ziti.Gross. The smell made me want to throw up right there at the table. I had to very quickly excuse myself and go into my office, where I was sure I was going to lose it. I breathed my way through it, convincing myself that it's all a mental thing, and I was able to go about my day without throwing up. Woohoo!

The smell of dog food makes me nauseous, so I'm totally done helping out with that chore at home. Last night (this morning, rather... it was 2:00 a.m.), I did something so gross it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about typing it... but I'm going to because I'll laugh about it later. Well, I threw up in my mouth and... SWALLOWED IT. Eeeeewwwwwww.... I totally don't know WHY it happened!! It just happened so fast, and it wasn't like, a little bit of gross spit... it was nasty, raunchy, warm vomit. GROSS!!!!!! Why did it go back down?! I was mortified and ran to the bathroom hoping I would have to throw up again so I could get that junk OUT of my system. Alas, it didn't happen... so after drinking a bottle of water and peeing, I went back to bed.

Today, I feel like the cravings have officially ended. For now anyway. Nothing sounded good for lunch... I ate some left-over mashed potatoes, which were quite tasty, but just didn't cut it. I wanted something else but had no idea what it was. I settled for some Pepsi. Today I can honestly say all I've had to eat is 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast and mashed potatoes for lunch. That's quite a healthy day, eh? I have no idea what I'm going to make for dinner. Earlier this week I had a major craving for a 3-Way from Skyline Chili... which is in Cincinnati... and since that is a 5-hour drive from me, I settled for Mexican Spaghetti from Demos', which deserves an award because it's just that good. I knew Skyline sold cans of chili at Kroger, but I was recently informed that they also sell bags... yes, bags of it in the frozen section. Jackpot! Maybe when I feel like eating food again, I'll try to make some.

This is the part of pregnancy I wasn't looking forward to, but felt like some kind of freak of nature because I wasn't getting it. All this nausea and vomiting all my pregnant/mommy friends warned me about seemed like a myth... everyone said to me, "Oh, just wait until you hit your 6th week." I was beginning to worry that something is wrong with Sweet Pea since I was always told "Morning sickness means your baby is healthy!" I know that's not really true... I think miserable pregnant women just tell themselves that so they feel better about their miserable situation.

So the sickies have started to somewhat interrupt my life, and I feel a little bit better knowing it's most likely a good sign, but I don't really look forward to what's to come. All I can do is remind myself that it's for a GREAT cause I've prayed for... and that pregnancy doesn't last forever... there is a little bundle of joy at the end of the tunnel. :)

Spaghetti... Ti Amo.

2009-09-01T14:32:00.002-05:00

Ah... ti amo spaghetti right now. Spaghetti is my latest craving. I can't help it. I've eaten it the past 3 days in a row.

Yesterday, I had some for lunch and unfortunately hadn't packed enough... I really thought I had. So I was still hungry afterwards and tried to eat Cheez-Its, but they weren't cutting it. It didn't help that I had a headache and my contacts were blurring up on me. Because of this longing for more spaghetti, I got nausious and thought I was going to have my 1st bout of the sickies. Luckily, 4 tums helped and I didn't get sick. I was able to distract myself from meeting face-to-face with the porcelain god at work. (Can't say the same for poor Kristin!)

When I got home from work, I took a nap before making dinner and it kinda helped. I made some very unhealthy "Hamburger Helper" using ground turkey... when I say very unhealthy, I'm talking about the ungodly amount of sodium content in HH. But, it sounded good to me, so I made it. I spent the rest of the evening on the couch, totally zonked. I was worthless. Glenn was great... he painted all the doors for me and got some other stuff around the house done. We hit the sack around 9:30 and I slept pretty good through the night!

Today is a different story! I feel a lot better. I brought twice as much spaghetti, and even though it didn't satisfy my need for carbs, a 6" meatball sub from Subway did. ;) Yes, I ate a LOT for lunch, but I feel great! I have more energy today than I did yesterday. I hope I stay like this. I plan to be productive tonight instead of lazy. Some baseboards are calling my name.

6 Weeks of Pregnancy & Spiced Tea

2009-08-30T19:25:00.004-05:00

I'm 6 weeks today. Every Sunday marks a new milestone, a new list of baby developments, and the same question in my mind... Is my baby really growing as the book says it is? In 2 weeks & 2 days, I'll find out for sure. But anytime I doubt myself, I remember my symptoms are still there. They're still intensifying and that has to mean something right?

Lately, instead of waking up once in the middle of the night to pee, I'm waking up three times. The past two mornings, I have woken up at 5:00 a.m., on the dot, with a nausiating hunger. One little pack of Cheez-Its and I'm ready for more sleep. Today I bought a box of Cheez-Its to keep by the bed. When I first sit up in bed, I feel like I have bricks hanging from my boobs. Yes, bricks. I am not exaggerating, I cry every time. But once I get going, I'm fine. It (mostly) goes away. Because of this agonizing pain, I am often too lazy to get up to pee in the middle of the night, which has caused Glenn to chastise me... "You're going to get a UTI!" Nah.

Today, I was extremely exhausted. I'm not sure if it's just the pregnancy, or the fact that I also spent all day painting our office/guest room yesterday. I came home from church this afternoon, and instead of eating lunch and making my grocery list like usual, I passed out on the couch for a few hours. It was much needed. But instead of feeling refreshed when I woke up, I felt sedated.

I thought I was going to have my first bout of sickness when I started to eat dinner. Thanks to my pastor mentioning spaghetti during service today, I had to have some for dinner. I made a heaping plate because I sure love my spaghetti, and I suddenly didn't feel right... I wasn't really sick feeling, just... off. Glenn noticed I wasn't devouring my meal like I should have been, considering I had not eaten anything since 9:00 this morning. He started to ask if I was going to be sick, if he could get me anything, or do anything for me... I assured him I was fine, just didn't feel good since it had been so long since I had eaten. And I was fine... minus a little heartburn, I was good to go. I ate the spaghetti and then enjoyed a hot cup of spiced tea.

Now I feel fine. Glenn pulled out my big tub of fall decor so I am almost ready to set it all out. Perhaps I will after this blog. ;) In the meantime, I'll leave you with my favorite spiced tea recipe... but this literally makes a LOT so you have to get a huge container to keep it in. Once you try it, you'll be in spiced tea heaven. The funny part about this? There is only 2 Tbs of "tea" in the entire recipe. Enjoy!

Spiced Tea

20 oz. Tang powder

(or other powdered orange drink)

20 oz. Lemonade powder

2 Tbs Instant Tea

2 c. Sugar

2 tsp. Cinnamon

2 tsp. Ground Cloves

Mix a couple spoonfuls of tea into hot water (to taste)

*Note: The tang and lemonade will have to be measured out in an oz. measuring cup because they do not come in 20 oz. sizes... that is the one flaw of this recipe, but don't hate, I didn't invent it. ;)

Opa! Greek Salad & Pepsi

2009-08-27T13:57:00.006-05:00

I have perfected my Greek Salad. Since the Greek Salad craving began 7 days ago, I have eaten 5 of them: 2 home made, 2 from Panera, 1 from Athens Family Restaurant. Mine is the best.

Romain Lettuce (rich in folate!)
Cherry Tomatoes, sliced
Tomato Basil Feta (pasturized of course)
Kalamata Olives, pitted & sliced
Banana Peppers, sliced
Grilled Chicken, diced
Greek Vinagrette Dressing

Toss & Chow.

Did I mention that Amanda has plagued me with her famous Pepsi craving? Don't worry, I'm drinking decaf. It's not the same, but it'll due.

An Ode to my Soul Cysters

2009-08-26T15:25:00.002-05:00

I keep thinking about my fellow Soul Cysters (SC) who are still trying so hard to get pregnant and it aches my heart. I think of those who have been trying longer than me and those who have had losses. There is a cyster on SC who has had 8 losses... that's right, eight. And one of those was in her 2nd trimester. How does she keep pushing forward after that? Another cyster lost her baby hours after delivery due to unexplained circumstances. She labored for hours, delivered a beautiful healthy baby, and lost is just hours later. How does this kind of thing happen?!

Before you freak out on me for worrying, I'm not stressing myself out. I'm not freaking out, I just have a deep empathy for those who are trying so hard to become mothers and just can't because their stubborn ovaries are on strike. It's one of the worst feelings in the world to be a woman who can't fulfill her womanly duty. We actually want our periods to come, just so we feel somewhat normal. I feel... lucky, blessed, and overwhelmed that I am actually pregnant. It doesn't always feel real to me. Not at all. I see all these cysters who have been trying longer than me and even gone through more treatments, and I feel like it's so unfair. Why should a good woman have to try so hard to get pregnant, but a teenager or prostitute can at the drop of a hat? I don't understand God's plan sometimes, but I just have to trust that He does know what He is doing. I just wish I could say one tiny prayer and BAM, one of my cysters is pregnant. Oh, how I wish... I'd give them ALL babies. Some even twins!

Fellow cysters, I love you all so much. You've encouraged me to keep pushing forward and I hope & pray that I can do the same for you. Please feel free to message me if you ever need to just vent and cry about your battle with infertility. I totally understand where you are coming from and hope I can help. Don't give up hope. God has a baby for us all.

I hope my Appleseed decides to stick and stay put for another 35+ weeks. I hope I can be an official "Triumphant Cyster." I just have to live day-by-day and put everything in God's hands.

September 15 can't come soon enough.....

Early Cravings & An Angry Appleseed

2009-08-24T10:20:00.005-05:00

There is nothing more satisfying than consuming what you're craving when you're pregnant. It is a whole new level of satisfaction I never thought was possible.

If there is one thing I have learned thus far in my early trek through pregnancy, it's that if I want something in particular to eat, by golly I better eat it. Otherwise, I endure the rath of my Appleseed, and I'm not talking "morning sickness." I'm talking poop that runs like water and stomach pains. Eeeeewwww....... I don't know what is worse.

Last week I was craving macaroni & cheese from this little Meat & Three down the street from my work... so I asked for double mac & cheese with my order, only to be told they didn't have any that day. Boo. So I settled for these nasty cheesy potatoes. Then, the burger they gave me just wasn't good. What I really wanted that day was tuna... and I was out of tuna. So spent the afternoon unhappy.

However, sometimes even when I have what I want, I still get runaway poop. For example, on Sunday my little Appleseed was dying for some watermelon, so I had a heaping bowl of it. It didn't take me very long to digest it and release it in the worst way. This prevented me from going to a concert with Glenn that I was most definitely looking forward to. *weeps* I've heard that sometimes watermelon can serve as a laxative, and being that I ate a piece the size of my head, I'd say that is why my Appleseed got so angry at me... maybe.

As for cravings, I've started reeeeally wanting tuna salad and Greek salad (mostly for the feta).

Now, I know that I'm supposed to be careful with tuna because of the high level of mercury... but from what I have learned, it's the Solid White Albacore that is so high in mercury... which is my favorite... but I mix it with the Chunk Light so I'm getting less mercury at once. As for the feta, I'm not exactly asking the restaurants if they are serving me pasturized cheese, but I can't really do that everytime. I've enjoyed 2 Greek salads so far and intend on making some at home this week. Something about it makes me happy. At least I am craving healthy stuff...

In order to keep my Appleseed happy, I am unable to do my OCD planning and create a menu for the week. I have to eat as I go... so this means I'll be making more trips to the grocery than usual, at least for a little while. I hope my Appleseed decides to be kinder to me and allow me to eat more of these things I want so badly without forcing me to 20 minutes at a time on the crapper.

Tonight, we're going to a hibachi grill with a couple of friends and I really hope I will be in the mood for something... anything on that menu. (Please God, let me be satisfied tonight!)

Movie Review -> Julie & Julia

2009-08-23T17:45:00.004-05:00

If you know me at all, you know that one of my biggest passions, next to scrapbooking, is FOOD. I love to cook. I love to read about cooking. I love recipes, measurements, onions, butter... I love watching chefs stir, wisk, and chop. When I'm in the kitchen putting together a new experiment, I feel complete. This is why I have a food ministry in the church and why I thoroughly enjoying encouraging others to cook more often. (Although this is not for me but for those who need to be inspired and encouraged)

This movie was absolutely everything I wanted it to be. It was hilarious, adorable, creative, and educational. Throughout the movie I laughed, I cried, I felt hunger, and I actually learned a trick or two. Meryl Streep played the most perfect Julia Child. There is NO other actress... and I mean, NO ONE who could have played a more perfect Julia Child, other than Mrs. Child herself. While watching this movie, I felt like I was watching the real Julia Child. I always thought she was such an adorable chef, but I never really knew what an amazing woman she really was. I never knew the road she took to become the woman we know--knew her as.

Amy Adams reminded me a lot of myself in this movie, so I empathized with her character quite a bit. This movie inspired me to want to cook even more than I already do. I know, that's a shocker, right? Seriously though... there is a lot I do... but then a lot I just don't do. Like, when I want a hollandaise sauce for my salmon and asparagus, I just use one of those instant packets at the grocery. But oh... how glorious would it be for me to whip up my own egg & butter perfection?? Yes, I think I must do this....

If you want a light-hearted, fun, inspiring movie to see, go see this. This movie is definitely for the ladies, but I do think men will get a kick out of it as well. You can't help but laugh at "Julie Child."

In a nutshell, it's amazing. Go see it. 5 out of 5 stars.

What to Expect...

2009-08-20T14:07:00.007-05:00

This book is the "Pregnancy Bible" right? The mother of all pregnancy books... right? *sigh* Well, I have a confession to make. Earlier this week, I hated-- no, I loathed this book. Let me explain myself...

First of all, the entire section IN THE BEGINNING about birth defects and all these tests you can have done to check for this and that... all the stuff about Downs Syndrome... I didn't need to read that in early pregnancy. I know these tests are supposed to be done early on if you're going to have them, but no thanks. This section of the book caused my heart to race, my blood pressure to rise, and that anxious feeling in my stomach. Number One, even if there was something wrong with my poppy seed, I most certainly would NEVER terminate the pregnancy. Number Two, why is this in the beginning of the book? All it did was remind me of the many things that can go wrong and that isn't what I needed this early in the game.

Second of all, the section about food & nutrition caused me to break down and cry not once, but twice. Yes, that's right. Twice. At this point, right now, I understand that the food & nutrition notes are supposed to be a guide... but when I first started to read about it, in my mind I was thinking, "How in the world am I supposed to remember all this stuff?" There are so many things I can't have... and then so many things I'm supposed to have. Do I really have to obsess over every meal when it comes to how much calcium I'm getting? Or how much mercury is in that tuna fish I want so bad? Or if my favorite green tea is going to deplete my folate, thus resulting in Spina Bifida?! Do you see where I am going with this? In my mind, the question is constantly there... Will this be a successful pregnancy? When I'm faced with all of these rules I had no idea about, it overwhelmes me to tears.

Once I got past the horrible beginning of the book, I started to enjoy it. I enjoy that there is a monthly & weekly breakdown of baby development, symptoms, and what my body is going through in general. Lots of questions are answered and that is a wonderful thing. But I have to recommend to all my fellow mothers-to-be, and all my cysters who are trying oh so hard to get pregnant... DO NOT READ THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS OF THIS BOOK. Just don't. Save yourself the tears and just skip to the fun part. Just wait until you meet with your doctor and then ask their recommendations on food & medicines.

My first prenatal appointment is on September 15 when I will be 8 weeks along. My doctor's office went ahead and scheduled my appointments for the rest of the year, actually. :) Now that I have gotten past the fear of whether or not my beta hCG levels are rising in a healthy way (thank God they are) I have to wait for the dreaded first ultrasound to make sure there is a healthy little bun in my oven. This is the part that scares me. I guess because I see so many of my fellow cysters post on SoulCysters that everything was fine until they had that first ultrasound and then found that there was no yolk sac... this scares the daylights out of me. All I can do is hope and pray... pray that God protects my little poppy seed for a long 40-week pregnancy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a Poppyseed

2009-08-18T12:50:00.016-05:00

1 Samuel 1:27

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."

I guess it is time to make "the mother" of all announcements!!

Glenn and I are most definitely expecting our very first baby! Our little seed's estimated arrival date is April 25, 2010. It has been one year since I had my first cyst and it took us 8 months & 5 medicated cycles to achieve this pregnancy. Do I feel like I have accomplished something huge? You bet. Do I feel scared this is too good to be sure? Definitely. People keep telling me to just relax and everything will be fine... of course, the people telling me to relax are perfectly healthy & fertile people. It's very difficult to relax when you know your mom's side of the family has a history of unexplained losses, unrelated to PCOS. It's very difficult to relax when you know that your chances of a healthy pregnancy are less because of PCOS. However, the good news is, my doctor is amazing and is going to do everything in her power to be sure that I have a healthy & full pregnancy. I am going to stay on my Metformin and hope it lives up to its task of lowering my change of miscarriage. I've got a year and a half of prenatal vitamins running through my veins and hopefully the folic acid will also do it's job and keep my little poppyseed safe.

I also know that regardless of what I want, God has a plan and I have to just trust in that. He knows what He is doing... and if this little poppyseed is meant to grow into a watermelon for birth, then it'll happen. Will I be upset if it doesn't go through? Absolutely. But I know, and have faith, that He knows what He is doing... even if I don't understand it or want to believe it, He knows and is bigger than me. It reminds me of a song we sing in church... "God is bigger than the air I breathe, the world we'll leave... God will save the day and all will say, 'My Glorious!'"

Now to share my little story on how I came to find out I am in fact cooking up a bun in my oven!!
On Wednesday, August 12, at just 9 days past ovulation, I decided to take a HPT. Now to explain a little something... on August 2, I had an hCG shot to force ovulation... it typically takes 10 days for it to leave your system... August 12 was day 10, so I figured if it was positive, it was actually the shot. I just wanted to know if it was still in my system. Well, I got a very faint positive... one so light, it wouldn't even photograph. I coughed it up to be an evap line and just decided I would test the next day... in my own logic, if it got darker, it was a real positive test... if it got lighter or was negative, it was the shot leaving/out of my system.

August 13, I tested, it was positive... but again, very light. However, it did get a tad darker. I still didn't believe it. On Friday, August 14, on my way to work, I stopped at Walgreens and purchased a 2-pack of the mother of all HPTs... the First Response Early Result tests. At 10:30 a.m., I snuck into the bathroom at work... woah and behold... BAM:

When I saw this immediately come up, I ran back into my co-worker's office, closed her door, showed her the test and started bawling like a baby. I couldn't believe it. Was this real? Was this the shot playing tricks on me? In my heart, I knew this was it. But of course, being the OCD person I am, I decided to test again over the weekend... I tested on Saturday with my last First Response... it was positive. Finally on Sunday morning, I took a digital I had stored away as a last resort.Five HPTs later, I can finally admit that I am, in fact, pregnant. I went to the doctor on Monday (I was 4 weeks, 1 day pregnant), had my first beta test, my hCG level was 125, which is great for that early. Today, I had another one and it came back at 243, which is very healthy! the minute my doctor texted me the results, I started crying. Tears of joy, of course! What all this means is that I seriously started to find out I was knocked up at 3.5 weeks. Apparently Glenn's little army wasn't waiting around... they attacked, implanted, and BAM... I'm pregnant!

This is how I told Glenn that he was a father-to-be:I've been following TheBump.com's list that compares how big your baby is with food... perfect for me, right? On Sunday, when I am officially 5 weeks pregnant, my little poppyseed will complete it's transformation to an apple seed... and from there a sweet pea.

As for my early symptoms? My boobs are out to get me. I've switched entirely over to sports bras because I can't stand the pain. I didn't sleep well all weekend because they kept reminding me they were there and it hurt... bad. Now, I sleep much better but don't look forward to the moment I have to actually get up. Otherwise, I've had a lot of cramping, but it's not unbarable... it's actually a lot easier to deal with than period pains. The cramps have also gotten more spaced apart. It's not a constant pain by any means. Just annoying. Over the weekend I think I cramped the most... but now it's not nearly as bad. Most of the time I don't feel pregnant... I'm not sick, I'm not bloated, I'm not craving anything abnormal... I know it's freakishly early to experience these things, but it makes me feel like I'm less pregnant because I don't.

I'll conclude this blog with one thing... I hate the book What to Expect When You're Expecting. It has already caused more anxiety and more crying fits than I would have imagined. I'll save this rant for another blog...